Sister is pregnant for my boyfriend

Dear Pastor:

I have a great problem. I am in love with my boyfriend for two years. He is living with me at my mother's house. We were getting on fine at first. Someone told me that one night she saw my boyfriend and my sister hugging and kissing on the verandah. I asked them if it was true and they said it was not true. I know they used to get along well with each other. I didn't take it for anything. Every month I go for my child's money, and sometimes I don't come back the same day.

What I was hearing about my sister is true. I used to love her and treat her the best way I could, but now I hate her and don't even want to see her. She became pregnant for him. When I found out she is pregnant, I was shocked. I feel like going crazy.

Before I found out that she is pregnant, my eldest sister told me that one night while I was out, she heard my boyfriend and my sister having sex in the kitchen. She said she called to them but got no reply. She then called again and after a while she answered and said she was sleeping so she didn't hear her calling.

When I discussed the matter with my boyfriend he was taking things easy and calm. Now it has come out so everyone can see. Whenever I am upset and I talk about it he curses me, beats me and tells me that he doesn't want to hear anything. Since she is pregnant, he hardly gives me anything. He is working and most of his money is spent on her. She is getting almost everything. I am suffering from wants. He malices my son and says what happened is because of my son and me. We are innocent. When we quarrel he tells me grievous words to hurt me.

He told me that he has a plant coming so he has to flourish it, cherish it and water it until the day of harvest. He told me again that he doesn't want his seed to beg bread. He said I should not look to him for anything. He said no one can stop him from having sex with my sister. He was asking me for a baby but I told him we don't have a home for ourselves so we should wait.

This is his first child. Please pray a special prayer for me. I am worried and distressed. I don't know when I will come back to my usual feeling. We had an argument and he moved out his bed and his other little things, but he came back the same night and slept with me. We are still together.

Please tell me what I should do. Should I settle down with him while my sister is in the same house? I feel this guy does not mean me any good. My sister knows all his business and I don't. She knows where he is working and I didn't know until one of my sisters told me. Although that happened, I still love him but not as before.

Initials and Parish Withheld

Dear....,

If you have any pride at all you should end the relationship with this man. He has already declared that he would continue to go to bed with your sister. It was not a 'one night stand' situation. Both of them became intimate and were going to bed regularly. Your sister has no shame and your boyfriend is worst. You should not encourage the man to live in the same house with you. He should be kicked out.

Frankly, I think something must be wrong with you. How could a man be carrying on with your sister, beating you up because you talk about it and at the same time you are quite willing to sleep with him? He is not giving you anything, your sister is getting all his attention and support, and you claim you still love him.

Take it from me, you will never get him to ignore your sister. One of these days he is likely to take her and establish a home with her at another place. If you have pride you shouldn't even make him touch you. Shame on your sister.

Pastor