I want to break up with my supervisor

Dear Pastor,

I have an issue that I am dealing with and I would like your opinion. I am 26 and I live on my own, but I have a visiting relationship. My girlfriend and I are the same age.

We work in the same company. She is my supervisor. She knows how much I earn. When we are at work, we remain professional. Some people suspect that we have something going on, but we have never admitted it.

She bought a car and she is having difficulty in paying for and maintaining it. Her mother is not doing well. She has to undergo surgery. She wants me to help her pay for her mother's surgery, but I don't want to. I told her to take the money from her credit union, but that's where she got the money to buy the car. She said I am mean and she regrets going to bed with me.

I don't know how to get out of this relationship. I know that I don't want to continue with her. She likes the 'bling bling', and whenever I talk to her about spending her money on hair and going to the hairdresser every week, she doesn't like that. She has even threatened to have me fired, and she is serious about it. I have decided that if this girl would make up stories about me, I am going to tell everything I know to the boss. I am not going to allow her to tell lies and have me fired, while I walk away without saying anything. I know things that she did in the company that are not above board, and she told me some of her secrets. I am going to expose her. The boss trusts her, but she is not the most honest person. I know I can get her in trouble.

I told her that she can look around for another man because she is a gold-digger. I plan to do my master's degree and I need my money. She said I am putting my education before her. I don't take her threats lightly. The boss trusts her, but I will not walk away without a fight. I am not guilty of stealing anything from the company. Since she has threatened me, I am not prepared to give her even one cent. Should I tell the boss what I know? I am hoping to hear from you.

Initial Withheld

Dear Writer,

This young woman is your supervisor. You haven't said what type of work you do. But both of you have been carrying on a sort of office romance, and although you say that both of you have been careful, the relationship is not open. Workers have suspected that both of you are intimate friends. This young woman wants money from you to pay for her mother's surgery, which you refused to do. I must tell you that on the surface, it looks as if you are indeed mean.

You have not said what the surgery costs. But what you could have suggested was to give her a little help, maybe $20,000 or so. But you know this woman, you know that she is extravagant in spending. You know also that she is living above her means. So you would rather keep your money. If she is always buying hair and going to the hairdresser every week, one can say that she is not careful with her money. Perhaps you could also suggest that she should sell her car, because it does not seem that she is able to maintain it. Clearly, she needs help. It seems to me that you have the wrong woman.

I would also tell you that you should not take her threats lightly. She has threatened that she might get you fired. If she loved you, her love has certainly turned to hate. You ought to know if you have done anything wrong in the company that can get you fired or arrested. On the other hand, you need not fear this young woman. Both of you have threatened each other. You need not carry out your threats. It is better to leave that job in peace. Whatever she told you she did, she does not expect you to divulge same. Walk away from this woman. Keep your reputation intact. However, if she tries to do something nasty, be prepared to defend yourself.

Pastor