Dating a man as old as my father

Dear Pastor,

I am 18 and I am living with my grandmother who is 65. My brother used to live here, but he got a job so he is living elsewhere with his much older girlfriend.

My grandmother said that this lady tied my brother. When he comes to see us, my grandmother tries to talk to him about leaving the lady. He said he can't do it because he loves her and she is doing everything for him.

This woman was married, but she and her husband separated. She told my brother she is divorced, but we found out that is not true. This woman controls my brother totally. When he was living with us, he had a girlfriend. She is a very nice girl. She has been pleading with him to leave the woman. She is hoping that he will come back to her.

I have a boyfriend, but I don't want my grandmother to know because he is old enough to be my father. He is a 41. He has never come to our house. He told me he has another woman and she has two children for him. She is in a very good job. He is a businessman. He got a job for me in one of his friends' business places. I am an accounting clerk there and I'm learning a lot. I can see that this man I'm working with loves me, but I am afraid to tell my boyfriend, because if I do, he would not want me to continue working there. I would have to depend on him for everything.

My father never supported me and it was when I was 12 that I got to know him. My mother is living with a man. He doesn't treat her well, but she does not want to leave him because she says she is tired of changing men. My mother and I get along very well. If I ask my brother for anything, he does not give me because he says I am working. I want to go back to school. I asked my boyfriend if he would help me and he said if I save half the money for my first year in college, he will give me the rest. I love this man very much. I have never cheated on him. He allows me to go out with my friends. My friends say that he is too strict on me, but I don't want to lose him.

V.N.