Husband said he regretted marrying me

Dear Pastor,

I am 30 years old and I am having a problem. My husband and I have been together for three years. He was living abroad and he came back to Jamaica and married me.

I thought by now I would be in America with him, but he has not yet put in the papers. One of his sisters told me that she didn't know when he would do so, because when she asked him about it, he told her that I should wait on him and he believes that he made a mistake by marrying me. I was so shocked to hear that. He has never told me that he regretted marrying me. I keep asking him whether he has another woman and he tells me no.

I turned down other guys who were in love with me and that included one of his closest friends. I don't know what to do. My husband has a good job. He has only visited Jamaica twice since we got married and he did not stay in Jamaica longer than three days each time. I told him that he didn't have to send me any money; he should save his money to show immigration that he has enough money to take care of me when I arrive in America.

I have a visa, but he has advised me not to travel to America because it would affect the filing process. I am feeling stressed out. I don't know if he is sleeping with another woman because every time I call him, regardless of how late, he answers, and if he doesn't answer, he returns my call. I would like to have a child and time is going. My husband does not have children. My mother told me to be patient. I am patient; I just want to know what is holding my husband back from filing to get me to America.

It has been very hard on me. How long am I going to wait on this man? Why does he regret marrying me? Do you think he has found another woman? My friends ask me when I am leaving and I am always lying by telling them that everything is in the making.

My boss and I talk very well and I told him that I am thinking of changing my mind to go to America and he said I should not; I should try and get there and be with my husband. Right now it doesn't seem as if I have a husband. Please help me to make my decision.

R.

Dear R.,

I hope that your husband will do what is honourable. He came to Jamaica and married you. He assured you that he would file for you, but he has done nothing to begin the process.

You are frustrated and I can understand why you would be. He told his sister that he regretted marrying you. I wish he did not say that. He did not say that he doesn't love you anymore. so I wonder why is it that he regrets marrying you. I hate to think that your husband is a wicked man. Do not give up on him. Remain faithful to him.

The questions that you have asked me should be addressed to him; don't be afraid to do so. If he does not want you as his wife anymore, he should tell you and allow you to move on.

Pastor