My wife is going to leave me bankrupt

Dear Pastor,

I am having a problem. I am in my 50s. I was married when I was in my 20s, but 10 years ago, my wife died. I found a lady who is also in her 50s. She has a son who is living in America and going to college. We got married. I have two daughters, and they are married. They are just lovely girls. I am hoping to retire when I am 65.

My wife is still working. She spends all her money on her son. Although she is working, I give her money to run the house. She is always complaining that she is broke. She sends money to her son every month. I told her that we are going to need the money that she sends to him and that she should encourage him to take out a student loan. She told me that that is going to cost him too much.

This young man is always calling her and asking her for money. Whenever we talk about her son, she says that I don't like him. But it is not that I don't like him, I don't like how he is pulling her down by always asking for money. I don't have to support my daughters. I give them gifts on their birthdays and at Christmas time, but they know they shouldn't look to me to support them.

My wife got some money from an insurance company after her husband died. I asked her what she did with that money, and she said she spent most of it on her son. Every week I give my wife $10,000 to buy food for the house and to pay bills. I told her to save something out of it, but she does not save anything. I have to make sure that I put away something otherwise I will not be able to retire at 65.

She wants to go to America for Thanksgiving and she wants me to pay her fare, which I refuse to do, and that has caused us to have a big fuss. I told her that she should have her son come to Jamaica and have him spend Christmas with us so she would not have to go to America for Thanksgiving. She wants to go there and then shop. If I follow this woman, I won't have anything. Please give me your advice.

E.

Dear E.,

I hope that you are not paying a mortgage and that where you are working has a pension plan and that you are a part of that plan. So many men your age do not participate in a pension plan. If you are not in one, you are making a big mistake. Many people work with companies that do not have a pension scheme. So they have to take out an individual retirement account. I hope that at least you have that. If you don't, I encourage you to do so.

You can discuss that with a bank or with a credit union. You should also discuss with your wife to do the same. You need to have a very solid retirement account. You may even have to move your retirement age. If you are in fairly good health, you do not have to retire at age 65.

Discuss your financial future or your financial position with a financial adviser. Whatever you put in this account, you will not be able to withdraw until you have retired.

It is unfortunate that your wife seems to be extravagant in spending. Maybe she was never taught how to save, so don't be hard on her. You are quite right in telling her that her son should take out a student loan. A student loan should be considered as essential debt, and he would be required to repay the debt after graduation. I wish you well, dear sir. If you are still paying the mortgage, now is the time to pay down on your mortgage so that you will not find it burdensome when you get close to retirement. I wish you well.

Pastor