Boyfriend’s grandma nearly caught us in the act

Dear Pastor,

I am 17 and I am in sixth form. My parents are trying their best to educate me. My parents have five of us, but they are poor. I have a secret boyfriend who helps me with many things.

He is 22 and lives with his grandmother. He took me to see her and she told him that she liked me. She warned him not to get me into any trouble. She told me right in his presence that I was the third girl he brought to her yard, so she hoped that he was serious about me. She also told me that he was not ready to settle down and I was too young to be thinking about settling down; I should continue in school. His grandmother gave me good advice.

This guy took my virginity on the floor of his grandmother's house. As soon as we were finished having sex, his grandmother came home. He said he did not expect her to come home so soon. I felt embarrassed because I had to stay in the bathroom for a while. His grandmother asked him what he did to me and he said nothing. I told her the same. My boyfriend is the only man that I have had sex with, but I find that I need sex often. Sometimes when I should be studying, I am thinking of him and I have to call him.

My mother asked me if I am sexually active and I told her no. She asked my younger sister the same question and she told her that she didn't want to have anything to do with men because men are too wicked. My mother told her that not all men are wicked because our father is not a wicked man, and he has taken care of all of us.

I told my boyfriend that I want to study and he told me that he would help me. I see myself going to university in the next two years. He said he wants to go to the Jamaica German Automotive School. Another guy likes me, but I told him that I was not interested. He is much older than my boyfriend. I will stay with my boyfriend although I could use more money. Some of my friends say that I should take the money from the other guy, but don't give him anything. But I don't want to do that. Some men are wicked and I don't know what he would do if I took his money and didn't go to bed with him.

Y.N.

Dear Y.N..,

Stay with your boyfriend; don't listen to what others might tell you. I have talked to many men and they say that they will destroy girls who take their money and promise them sex, and then not give them.

Some girls think they are smart and they can fool men by making promises, but there comes a time when men are not prepared to just accept promises. They might do something wicked.

A man told me not long ago that he was going to kill a particular girl because he spent so much money on her and she was trying to end the relationship. He was not prepared to allow her to be with another man. So tell this guy who is interested in you that you cannot be intimate with him. You are a one-man girl. Try your very best and concentrate on your school work. Even when you are studying and you think about your boyfriend, take a break, take a shower and get back to your studies.

I would not encourage you to have sex with your boyfriend at his grandmother's house. If you continue doing so, his grandmother will probably walk in on both of you and you would be embarrassed. Your boyfriend is ambitious. I hope that he will be able to attend the automotive school and that you will be able to go to university. I wish both of you the very best.

Pastor