I have found a good man

Dear Pastor,

I am 20 years old and I am pregnant. I did not plan to get pregnant, but I have a boyfriend and it was hard to resist him all the time. He is responsible for sending me to school because I do not have anybody to help me. He is my first boyfriend and I am his second girlfriend. He is the only child for his mother but his father has many children. He does not have much knowledge about girls.

When I met him, I told him I did not want a boyfriend, but when I considered that my mother need help and my father was not helping, I got involved with him. My mother has a little shop and he helped me in the shop after he finished working. It was in the shop I had my first sexual experience with him. I know I shouldn't say that to you. He told me he was not going to discharge in me and I believe him, so when he did it, I cursed him and he told me he was sorry. I did not know anything about the morning-after pill. I only learned about it after I missed my period.

My mother loves my boyfriend. He has never met my father, and I am not interested in having them meet. My mother told me that he can come and live with us and help us. He would be glad to move in with us. He is even thinking of adding on a room to our house. He wants to turn the shop into a bar. My mother said he is like the son she did not have.

I didn't want to live with a man in this way. We plan to get married. Please send your advice to us.

J.

Dear J.,

I hope this young man is speaking the truth. Sometimes guys tell a lot of lies when they meet girls and they want to have relationships with them. It is unfortunate that this young man got you pregnant, but I hope that he will take good care of you.

I also hope that you will go back to school. You are only 20 years old, so you have many years before you. You should ensure you get a good education. Nothing is wrong in assisting your mother in her little business, but you need an education.

You also need to plan your life intelligently. You are pregnant now; don't allow this man to get you pregnant again and again. You need an education or some type of skill, otherwise, you will be making life very difficult, not only for yourself but for your family. Your mother means well, and that is why she has suggested that this young man could live with you. He plans to expand her little business by turning it into a bar. I am not here to insult you at all, but I am sure that you did not intend to become a bartender. You need a brighter future. You have to be careful that you don't get pinned down in working in a bar.

Don't take what I have said as an insult.

Pastor