Spouse caught showering with my best friend

Dear Pastor,

I listen to you every night on your radio show. I have a criticism. You allow some people to talk too much and when people are holding, they run out of credit.

I called you and I was holding for a long time, so I had to give up. Some of your callers just talk and talk and cause other people's credit to run out.

I wanted to tell you that I was living with a woman and I gave her everything, but she was not satisfied. She got involved with my best friend. I could not believe it, I almost went crazy. This man and I were very good friends. He used to pick up my children from school, and, when his car was not working, I allowed him to drive mine.

It was my six-year-old son who said something that made me think. He told me that this man and my wife were showering together. He asked me how come I didn't bathe with his mommy and I asked him why he was asking that question. He said "Mommy and so and so were in the bathroom bathing and so and so did not have any clothes on." I asked his older sister if this man and her mother were in the bathroom and she did not answer. I pressed her to answer and she said "Yes, Daddy." So, I told my wife that I did not want him to come back to the house. She threatened to beat my son. She said he was lying. So I called my daughter and asked her, in front of her mother, if she had ever seen this man and her mother in the bathroom and she said she heard them in there.

This woman and I bought the house together, but I walked out and left her with it. I have given her everything. Nothing is wrong with me. I spoke to my pastor about her behaviour and she denied everything. She said I was saying these things about her because I was having an affair. She made up a story about me and the pastor has taken her side. I do not have a girlfriend. This woman is so wicked. I don't have any intention of divorcing her, but I don't want her as my wife anymore.

I spoke to the man about it and he called me a fool for accepting what the children said. He said children make up stories. But why would my children make up stories on him and on their mother? They had to see something. He is not denying that he was using the bathroom, but he said my wife was never in there. I am now living with my mother because she is alone. My mother told me she never liked this girl because she had heard that she was very whorish before I married her. I did not know that. I don't want a divorce because the Bible does not support it. So, what can I do?

I want to be with my children for Christmas but I don't want to be in the house with this woman. My mother said I should bring them and spend Christmas with her. I told my woman that I wanted the children for Christmas and she said she wanted them to be with her. So, please tell me what to do.

P.B.

Dear P.B.,

Some may say that you were careless in your life but I think what happened is that you had lots of confidence in your spouse that you did not think that she would be unfaithful to you. Your wife had no class at all. What reason could she have to become sexually involved with your best friend? She has really let you down. I believe what your children told you. They are not stupid. Your son knew that it was wrong for this man and his mother to be in the bathroom in the nude. He was not telling lies on her. Your daughter also admitted that she knew from their behaviour that something was not right.

You have moved out. You don't intend to divorce her, but, at the same time, you don't intend to live with her anymore. You are in a dilemma.

Pastor