Husband has eyes on my sister

Dear Pastor,

I am married and studying in the United States of America, but my husband is in Jamaica. I have been here for the past three years. My husband has visited me twice. We have two children. One of my sisters is living at our house and helping to take care of the children.

My mother, who lives in the country, goes to the house and help. My mother told me that my sister told her that my husband has made passes at her, but she does not want to let me know.

My husband is not the type of man who would play around with other women. I have confidence in him. When I said that to my mother, she said I should not forget that my husband is a man, and if he sees my sister in a nightie and I am not around, any card can play. From the time my mother told me what my sister said, I have been wondering if my husband has changed.

We are Christian people, so I asked him whether he has missed me and how he is making out when it comes to sex. Instead of answering me straight, he asked me how I am making out. I told him I miss him and I am not doing anything, and I am keeping myself until I return to him. He said he is keeping himself also. I did not tell him what my mother told me. But I asked my mother whether she would be willing to take the children and keep them because I will be away for the next year.

My sister has helped me a lot with these children. I don't believe that she is lying on my husband, but it is still hard to accept what she has said. Something has come to my mind that makes me real scared. I wonder what would happen if my husband gets my sister pregnant. He may not want to give up the children to my mother because my sister is a great help to him. She takes care of his clothes and she prepares his meal, etc, but I have not been comfortable after hearing what my mother said.

Pastor, give me your advice.

H

Dear H.,

I am sure that if your mother had not told you what your sister said, there would have been no reason for you to be fretting over your husband. So what I would love to say to you is that whether or not he has made passes at your sister, you should not allow what you heard to continue to affect you or your studies. I must admit that that is easy for me to say, but it is not something easy for you to take or to deal with.

Let your mother help you to deal with this matter. Let your mother tell your husband that she would love to have the children stay with her until you return. Perhaps your sister can tell your husband that she would love to leave. I think if your mother and your sister handle this matter intelligently, everything would be alright.

Your mother understands the danger of 'putting butter in puss mouth', so she will do her best to save your marriage.

Study hard and try to focus on the real purpose why you are in America.

Pastor