Sister trying to sleep with my husband

Dear Pastor,

I am 25 and I recently got married to a wonderful man who is only 27. He is tall and handsome. I am having a problem with one of my sisters.

From she met my husband, she fell in love with him. I thought she was joking when she first told me how much she loved him. When she told me that, I thought that she loved him as a brother-in-law, so I told her that I was glad.

This thing is causing problems in the family because she has also told other family members how much she loves him. My sister has a boyfriend and I told her that if she does not stop fooling around my husband, I am going to complain to her boyfriend. My husband warned me to keep quiet because anybody can love him.

I know my sister. This is not the first time she is fooling around a family member's partner. She went to Canada and stayed with a cousin and our cousin had to ask her to leave because she slept with her husband. She said it only happened once. I told her it should not have happened at all. I told my sister not to come back to our house and my husband is annoyed with me because of that. I used to love my sister so much because she is older than I am and I used to look up to her. I even helped her financially because her boyfriend does not help her very much, and at times she is in need.

My mother is not pleased with me because I told her not to return to the house. My mother believes that she was only joking about my husband. I asked my husband whether he would go to bed with my sister and he said even if he saw her naked, he would not touch her. I don't believe that he is speaking the truth. But I know that they have not had sex because my sister cannot keep her mouth; she would tell her friends. I know she will see this letter because she reads your column every day. So I said to her "Sister, keep away from my husband; what he has is mine and not yours. I love you as a sister, but I cannot share my husband with you."

Pastor, answer this letter urgently.

Initial Withheld

Dear Writer,

Perhaps your sister needs to undergo some therapy. If you are talking the truth about her getting sexually involved with a cousin's partner in Canada, and now she is eager to have your husband, she needs psychological help. She does not understand that she should observe boundaries. Your husband is your husband and she should not cross that boundary.

Perhaps I have mentioned it before, but I remember how a young lady said she hates her mother, and when I enquired why, she said she caught her mother having sex with her husband. She hates her mother with a passion. Another woman told me that her mother had sex with her brother. It was not her mother's son, but it was her father's son and she knew that her mother was having sex with him. When she and her sister spoke to their mother about it, their mother cursed them and told them what she does with her private part is her business. Some relatives don't have shame.

Your husband believes that you are taking this matter too far. I cannot say that I am against you for telling your sister not to come back to your house. She does not behave and she cannot be trusted. Don't make anybody in your family condemn you for what you have done. Protect your family life.

Pastor