Can’t satisfy my young girlfriend any more

Dear Pastor,

I am 45 years old and I am having a problem. I used to have very hard erections. My girlfriend is 28 and sometimes she asks what is wrong with me.

All the time, I think that she is going to give me bun. I heard her talking to one of her friends. She was asking her what she can give me to help me to have a firm erection. Her girlfriend told her that she should not put up with that. She encouraged me to go to the doctor and I went. The doctor gave me some pills, but they are not working. My girlfriend is always masturbating to satisfy herself. I feel inadequate. She falls asleep only when I help her to masturbate. She does not have children and she would love to get pregnant, but I am not sure in my condition I will be able to get her pregnant.

I hear people talking about the different things men can take when they have problems having a firm erection. I don't want to hurt myself. I believe that this woman is too young for me, and if I have an older woman, she may understand and tolerate my problem more. But I love my girlfriend. She accepts what I give her. I don't find her to be a gold digger and we have been together for three years. What would you suggest I do?

Anonymous

Dear Writer,

You are not an old man, and even if you were an old man, I would tell you that some men even in their 80s function very well when having sex. Some urologists will tell you that.

On the Dear Pastor Show, I was told about a man who was 90 and was able to impregnate his 19-year-old wife. There is another regular caller on the show who folks love to hear her. She said she took care of her husband very well, and when he was 88, he was still sexually active and had other women with her. But these other women ate him out.

I mention these things to tell you that all is not lost. Your urologist should be able to assist you. I observe that you are having an erection; your complaint is that it is not as hard and firm as it used to be. These are not the days when men should be so worried or feel that they have no use. I believe that part of your problem is your girlfriend is so much younger than you and she may demand sex more often than an older woman.

A woman who is in her 50s might be satisfied with having sex once or twice per month, but surely not a younger woman. And when she cannot get it, she may scratch up your back and kick up and even say nasty things. Then you become a 'watchman'. Every move she makes, you may feel she has gone to be with another man.

It is true that people recommend different things on my show that men can use. I do not endorse any of these so-called remedies. I believe that a man should be careful about what he takes. Before I go, let me say that if you are taking medication for diabetes or depression, you may suffer erectile problems, but your urologist will advise you. Don't hide anything from your doctor; talk freely with him about your problem.

I also would like to say that you can overcome this problem. Nearly 60 per cent of men who are over 70 still function very well. Young men are fast on the draw, but older men are still useful. So don't give up and don't accuse your girlfriend of having another man with you. It will just make your condition worse. I wish you well.

Pastor