My man has no interest in sex

Dear Pastor,

I have been dating a man for the past six months. Whenever I ask him if he loves me, he says that he admires me. I told him that I love him and he says that is nice; let us keep it that way.

Sometimes he takes me to the rural areas, but we have never stayed over at any hotel or any place like that. I always have a little bag packed, just in case he wants us to spend a night.

My previous boyfriend used to tell me he loves me. Unfortunately, he became ill and died. He was lots of fun to be with. This man I am now dating questions me a lot.

How can I tell whether he loves me? One day he said to me that I should be able to tell whether or not he loves me. I told him I want to hear it from him. After six months of being together, don't you think that we should know each other better, and it is time for us to make love? He does not show any interest in that. Even if I wear the shortest skirt, he does not have any comment. I have tried to tease him that way, but he does not react. I don't want to waste my time with this man. He is 40 years old.

When I go to his house and offer to cook for him, he loves that. However, if I go for a nap, he would not even come into the bedroom while I am in there. I wonder if this man is normal.

I also wonder if I am pushing myself too much on him. I have never met a man like him. The man who died used to be all over me when we were alone. However, that is not the case with this man, who is not even a Christian.

What do you think of him and of this relationship?

R.R

Dear R.R.,

I am sorry to hear that you lost your boyfriend and that this new man is not showing as much interest in you as you would like. Perhaps he is still testing you. He thinks that six months is too short of time for him to express how he feels about you. Don't push too hard; you will soon find out how he feels about you and where the relationship is going.

This man is not ready to make love to you and he does not believe that having sex is a necessary way to show love. If he did not appreciate you and want you around, he would not invite you out or have you come to his house.

I can understand why you find this man very strange for not being in a hurry to get between your legs.

Pastor