Stepdad is abusing me

Dear Pastor,

I have been living with my mother for the past 16 years. My father has been living in New York from I was nine years old.

My stepfather has been living with my mother and me for about eight years. When I started grade seven, I used to wake up at nights to see my stepfather looking under my clothes and touching me. I asked him to stop, but he did not. I told him that I was going to tell my mom and he said that if I did, she would not believe me. So this went on for a couple of months.

One day I asked him what I could do to stop this and he said that if I had sex with him, he would not come back into my room and touch me again. The following day I went to school and had sex with a boy I didn't even like, just because I didn't want to remember that the first time I had sex was with my stepfather. One week later, my mom went to work and my stepfather came into my room and we had sex. I cried during the entire time and when he was finished, I went to have a bath. I hated myself.

I was thinking that that would be the last time, but he came back, saying he did not 'fully enjoy himself'. He said that if I didn't do it again, he would tell my mom a lot of lies about me. So we did it again and again and again. All of this started when I was in grade seven, and now I am in grade 11. I don't know how to stop this. Every time I tell him that it is time to stop, he tells me that he is going to beat my mom and me. Pastor, I am afraid of what he will do. I want to tell my mom, but I don't think she can manage this information. She might die if she knows what is going on. I really can't wait until I am 18 so I can leave my mother's house and can finally stop having sex with this man.

Initial Withheld

Dear Writer,

Your stepfather is iniquitous. He should be severely punished. I am sorry that when you woke up and discovered that he was trying to molest you, you did not report the matter to your mother. I understand how scared you were. He warned you that if you were to report him, he would say that it never happened. But he is only a man in human form and he continues to have sex with you. Therefore, I suggest that you take this matter in hand. You have been too quiet. This matter should be reported to the police. You need to be courageous. Tell your mother what has been happening; explain everything to her. Of course, she is going to question why you did not tell her before, but tell her that you were scared. But, also, tell her that this man has continued to have sex with you.

I know many years have gone by, but I believe that the police can deal with this matter with your cooperation. To protect your identity, I have withheld your initials.

Pastor