Caught my sister and husband in bed

Dear Pastor,

I am 30 and I got married three years ago. My husband is a charming man. We live in the US. I have two sisters; one is 20 and the other is 18. The 20-year-old was spending time with us. She was always admiring my husband, and she always told me how he had a lovely figure, and we used to joke about it. I am a nurse and so I work on shifts. One day, my sister was in bed when I left for work. I thought my husband was going to work, but I forgot that it was his day off. While I was at work, I called my sister and my husband answered. He asked me what I wanted to eat when I got home, so I told him to prepare something that he knew I would enjoy. I asked him for my sister and he said she was still in bed because she was tired.

When I hung up the phone, I started to wonder why she was so tired. But, I dismissed the thought. About an hour later I called again, and this time she answered. I asked her what was going on and she said she was not feeling very well. I told her that I had to work a little later than usual so she should tell my husband not to prepare my food too early. I was concerned about my sister, so I asked another nurse to cover for me and I left work.

To my surprise, when I got home, my husband and my sister were in bed. They were shocked to see me. My husband tried to explain himself, but the more he talked, the more he sounded stupid. Both of them were nude. I got so mad that I threw anything that I was able to grab at them until my husband held me back. I told my sister to get out. I threw out some of her clothes. Neighbours saw that something was wrong and came over.

My sister was sitting on the floor crying. I told her she was a wicked girl and I would kill her. I called my parents and told them what I had seen. They tried to talk to my sister, but she wouldn't respond. My husband and my sister planned this thing. We do not have children, and I am glad that we don't. I don't want this man in my life any more.

When my sister used to tell me how attractive my husband was, I never thought that she wanted to have an affair with him. This girl has a boyfriend. He treats her well. I have threatened many times to tell him, but I have not. I could not go to work for three days. I have always gone the extra mile to keep my husband happy, but I will not take him back. We have not hugged or kissed since the incident. I hate my sister. I can never trust either of them any more.

E.N.

Dear E.N.,

I hope that you are not blaming yourself for what happened between your sister and your husband. I believe that you were quite correct when you said that they planned it.

I am surprised that you didn't remember that your husband was not working on that day. He didn't want to remind you that it was his day off. When you got home, they were not expecting you at that time, so that's how you were able to catch them in bed.

I am sure that he has asked you to forgive him a million times. I am sure you have not been able to do so, so you are planning to bring this marriage to an end. It is unfortunate that your sister got involved with your husband. Remember, she is your sister and although she is 20, she is naive. How could she go to bed with your husband? What benefit would that bring to her? She has brought shame on herself and your parents. You were so angry that you called them and told them what happened. Perhaps, on reflection, you would agree that it was unfortunate that you did.

I can't tell you to take back your worthless husband. He should have had more respect for you. He dishonoured you by sleeping with your sister. I wish you well and I hope that you will be able to get over this matter. Perhaps you should go to see a family counsellor or psychologist, who might be able to help you face life in the future. If you feel depressed, make sure you talk to a medical doctor. You know, as a nurse, what depression can do to an individual, so watch it.

Pastor