My girlfriend is homeless
Dear Pastor,
I am a regular reader of your column. Your show doesn't miss me. I listen every night.
I never used to save, but when I started listening to your show and you encourage people to save, I stopped drinking on weekends and put away the money I used to spend on beer each week. On my day off, I take it to the bank. I also started paying a 'partner' I saved my draw. I do security work.
I met a girl. She is 19. She has two children. None of them lives with her. She is bouncing here and there. Sometimes she walks the street all night. I don't mean she is selling her body, but she walks around especially when her girlfriend's boyfriend is visiting and sharing her bed.
I do not have anywhere to put her because I am living with my two sisters and a brother. We are sharing house. I don't have my own room.
If I rent a room, I would have to use up the money I am saving, but every time she hugs me she cries and tells me how much she loves me, and I must try and help her.
I don't want to spend all my money on a woman. Money is hard to make, Pastor, and she wants us to live together so she can take her children. I do not have a child for myself as yet. Her children are with her mother, who can hardly manage.
She can hardly read. I am encouraging her to go to school. If you should see her, she does not look as if she has children. Every time she comes and we have sex, I make sure I use the condom. after I discharge, we examine it together. My sister told me she is going to eat me out. I give her money every week because I don't want her go hungry or to sell herself. Please tell me how to handle the problem.
S.W.
Dear S.W.,
If you feel that you are in love with this young lady, your very best to help her. Don't dump her. I am not suggesting you go and live with this girl. You are a security guard, not earning enough to maintain a woman and her two children. While I am saying that you should not dump her, I am not encouraging you to take on a responsibility you are unable to cope with.
Encourage this young woman to get a job, and remember the advice of your sister. Continue to save your money. Don't allow this girl to inveigle you, and you end up spending all you have saved. You can continue to be her friend, but don't take her as your responsibility.
Pastor