I had sex with my boyfriend's uncle

Dear Pastor,

I am writing you with tears in my eyes. I have a child. I am 23 but got pregnant when I was 19. I had a secret relationship with a man for a year but everything got out when he got me pregnant. I know the condom broke because when he took it off. We both saw it. He told me to drink plenty water and go to the bathroom. It did not work.

Pastor, I am ashamed. A week after I had sex with him, I had sex with his uncle because I wanted money to go to the doctor. I told him I wanted a check up. I went to his house and he promised to give me the money if we had sex. I was desperate for the money so I did it. When we were finished, he gave me $1,000 and said that was all he had. I could not tell my boyfriend what happened. He did not know that I missed my period.

When I told my boyfriend that I missed period, he told his uncle and cousins. His uncle told a friend that the child was not for his nephew, it is his child. Everybody found out that I had sex with uncle and nephew. I've never admitted I to having sex with his uncle. My boyfriend told me that when the baby is born, he'd know if it was his. His uncle has a birthmark that he doesn't have. The child is the 'dead stamp' of my boyfriend.

I do not speak to his uncle at all. I see him on the road and pass as if I don't see him. His nephew and I are now living together. Pastor, what the uncle did to me is still on my mind.

C.L.

Dear C.L.,

Poor you. You are too trusting and your boyfriend's uncle is a very cruel man. He is deceptive and cunning. I am not saying that what you did was right, but what world is this man living in? What can $1,000 do? Which private doctor takes $1,000 from a patient? I don't know any.

What you did was wrong. You should not have agreed to have sex with your boyfriend's uncle. Regardless of how dumb you might have been, you should have known that was wrong. You may excuse yourself by saying that you were desperate, but that still does not make it right.

I am not condemning you, please understand. At least your boyfriend and you used a condom. Why did you think that you could not trust him by telling him that you were pregnant. When it was known that you were pregnant, the uncle declared that he was responsible for your pregnancy.

Such behaviour is despicable. You are going to have to go to your grave with this secret. To divulge that now is to bring shame on yourself. You don't have to say a word about it. This my suggestion. Others might disagree. If the relationship you are share with your child's father is going well, it may last.

Put the mistake that you have made behind and move on with your life. You are quite correct in not having anything to do with his uncle.

If your boyfriend should raise the matter of whether he is the biological father of your child, suggest a DNA test. That should put the matter to rest.

Pastor