My husband wants to migrate

Dear Pastor,

I am having a problem. I am 20 years older than my husband and I have five children. He is not the father of any of them. People admire how we live as a family.

I am rough on children, but he is so calm. He quarrels with me and tells me that they are beautiful and well-behaved children, so I must learn to love my children. He has two children, but he got them before we were married. When he told me that he loves me, I did not believe him because of the number of children I have.

His two boys are living with their mother in America. He goes up to see them sometimes.

My husband works with one of my brothers. My brother could leave him in charge of the business anytime.

Pastor, my husband is telling me now that he wants to leave Jamaica because the money he is making is not enough for him to purchase a home. I don't agree with him going because the home where we are living is ours. Everything I have is for the both of us and the children, but he doesn't see it that way. He wants something for himself, but I feel if I agree for him to go, he may not come back.

Many of his people are living in the US and they are encouraging him to leave. I am very worried. I don't want to lose him.

Pastor, he reads your column every day. Please tell him not to go.

P.C.

Dear P.C.,

Enjoy your husband as much as you can while he is here with you in Jamaica. He is a good man, a really good father to the children and a good husband to you. But if he has made up his mind to leave Jamaica, there is very little that you can do to prevent him from going.

Your concern is that your husband will become sexually and emotionally involved with another woman, but perhaps he wouldn't. I know that one cannot be sure what will happen, but at the same time, one should not be naOve. You will make yourself very unhappy if you start to fret about what will happen.

Don't fight to keep him in Jamaica if he doesn't want to stay. He does not consider your house to be his, and you shouldn't try to convince him that it is. He knows better. He is an ambitious man and he wants to purchase a place that he can call his own. Whatever he buys, it would not be totally his only, it would be yours also. Don't worry about these things. Just enjoy your man and hope for the best.

Pastor