Don't want to be the 'bunnawoman'

Dear Pastor

I am very glad that you are in this position where we as young people with problems can write to you.
I have been reading your column since I was 10 years old and now I am 17. I have learnt a lot.
I am sexually active. I grew up being the only girl in the house apart from my mother. I have three brothers. My mother is a higgler and my father is a farmer.
Both my parents work very hard. My mother and father leave the house early in the morning. My father goes to his farm early in the morning.
Thursday to Friday, my mother goes to sell in the market in Kingston. Sometimes she doesn’t come home until Saturday night.
My brothers, who are all older than I am, used to pay me to keep quiet. They would bring their girlfriends to the house and have sex with them. They also gave me money to buy my silence and to wash the sheets that they used.
On my 16th birthday, I had sex with a big man. I always liked him. He asked me what I wanted for my birthday and I told him a cell phone.
I had promised to have sex with him because he was always giving me money and my mother never asked me where I got money from.
She thought that all the money came from my brothers, but she didn’t know that at times, all they gave me was $500. My boyfriend gave me the cell phone and $3,500 on my birthday.
I had sex with him and he used a condom. It was very painful, but I had sex with him several times afterwards.
I am regretting it now because he told me recently that he is married and that his wife is coming to Jamaica.
What he is trying to say is that we cannot see each other while she is here. I told him that he was wicked.
He said that we could continue to be friends because his wife was living in one of the small islands. She would be leaving for the US and he was not going to live there with her.
Pastor, I don’t know what to believe, so I am writing you for advice. Pastor, I am not bad so please don’t call me bad.
S.E.

Dear S.E.,
Concerning your boyfriend, you are quite correct to call him wicked. You have not said how both of you met, but you believed that he truly loved you.
You did not give his age, but I can assume that he is your senior by far.
I do not consider you a bad girl. Evidently, you had needs that your parents were unable to meet and this man came into your life and helped you to meet those needs.
He walked as a man who truly cared, and now that he is satisfied that he has got much out of you, he is willing to tell you the truth, and the truth is, that he’s married.
He got you to love him, then he broke the news to you. He is a coward. But now that you know the true story, I hope that you will have the courage to tell him that the relationship is over.
He doesn’t want you to communicate with him while his wife is in Jamaica. She may answer the phone when you call, so he is trying to play it straight by telling you not to call him.
I think you should consider this whole experience a bad one and tell this man not to contact you again and that the relationship is over.
Pastor