Husband can't get it up anymore

Dear Pastor,

My husband and I have been married for 12 years, but he has been suffering from diabetes. He is having difficulty in maintaining an erection.

When it comes to sex, I am so frustrated. I am tired of helping myself by using the vibrator. It is not as satisfying as when my husband was able to function.

He is always telling me not to cheat on him. He has that fear that I would find another man, but I don't have that intention.

What can I do to help him and also to help myself?

G.S.

Dear G.S.

I am sorry to hear that your husband is suffering from diabetes and that it is affecting his sexual performance. However, he needs to understand that there are thousands like him who are suffering similar fate.

The desire for sex does not leave the diabetic. What it does is to decrease the ability of the man to achieve or to maintain an erection. A small percentage of men who are diabetic might not be able to ejaculate.

Some diabetics will admit that they carry a tremendous amount of fear of not being able to perform. Some women are also not sympathetic to what these men are experiencing.

A woman can use her hands with the help of a lubricant to assist her husband and cause him to ejaculate. So can the diabetic male stimulate his wife and bring her to orgasm.

You have a sex toy and that has its place in making love to your husband and as a counsellor, I am careful not to condemn this toy, especially when a couple has the type of problem that you and your husband are having.

Let your husband watch his diet and encourage him to follow the advice of his doctor and I am sure his condition will improve.

Pastor