Pregnant by my best friend’s father

Dear Pastor,

I am writing to you in tears. I am 19 years old and I am pregnant. I have just started university. The man who got me pregnant is my best friend's father. He told me that he has always liked me and his daughter knows that her father likes me. She would tease me from time to time, but she didn't know that we were having sex.

One day I needed some money and I asked him to help me. He told me I could come for it at his workplace. I went and he handed me the money and I left. Another time, I needed more money to buy two books. My father sent me the money, but my boyfriend had a problem and I lent it to him, however he did not return the money to me on time.

My friend told her father that I was in need of money. He called me and told me to meet with him at the office again, but I should be prepared to give him something. I went prepared. We had unprotected sex and here I am crying my eyes out because I am pregnant and I don't know what to do.

This man does not want the child, but I know abortion is murder. So what do you suggest that I do?

The last time my boyfriend and I had sex, he used a condom. We have never had unprotected sex, so I could not tell him that this child is his. At the same time I cannot tell my friend that I got pregnant by her father.

I told my grandmother that I missed my period and she told me that if I am pregnant, she would keep the baby so that I can continue my education. I am depending on you Pastor for your advice.

D.T.

Dear T.T.,

I cannot encourage you to try and protect this man by having an abortion. He didn't protect you when he was having sex with you. He didn't think of his family. He wanted sexual gratification and he got it, and now he has put you in serious trouble.

Yes, you made a mistake, but he is much older and he should have been wiser. You say that you are pregnant and it is only your grandmother you told that you missed your period. Grandma is intelligent, so she told you that if you are pregnant she would keep the baby so that you will be able to continue your education. Grandma knows best.

I am sure you did not mean to sell yourself. Your girlfriend's father was glad to have the opportunity to have sex with you. On the other hand, you were quite naive. You have a boyfriend and you took money from your father to assist your boyfriend and then you went back to the man for financial help.

Don't think about this man's wife or anything like that. Continue to go to school and do your best. You might not be able to do all the courses, but don't ever give up university. Tell your parents the truth. You should make your best friend know that her father impregnated you; you should not hide that from her. Your boyfriend should know that you are pregnant, but it is not by him. I would not suggest, however, that you explain everything to him.

Pastor