Caught my wife in the act

Dear Pastor,

I listen to you every night and I buy THE STAR and read your column. You have many fans in Florida, where I live. I am married to an American. It is my second marriage. My first wife changed when she came to America, so we got divorced.

She got into the American style by not wanting to cook, and every day she wanted to go somewhere. Then she got a job and told me I can't tell her how to spend her money. I had to find ways of protecting my little money. She told me I was behaving like an old man, and life is too short for her to be in the house every day.

She got involved with a Jamaican guy, who was living about a mile from where we lived. He started to visit the house when I wasn't there. So, one day I pretended that I was going to work. I got dressed, had my breakfast and left. She said she was not going to work on that day because she was tired.

MEN'S SHOES AT THE DOOR

I came back to the house just after midday. When I got to the apartment, I knew somebody was there because I saw a pair of men's shoes at the door. I quietly opened the door, went upstairs, and saw my wife and the guy having sex.

The guy got down on his knees and started to beg me pardon. I had a ratchet knife in my hand. My wife was fully nude and she started to beg me not to do anything foolish. I walked away and went to the bar. I could never trust a woman again in my life. I have this other woman, but I don't trust her. I am not sure that I love her, either.

This woman is doing everything to show me that she is different, but I don't buy it. When my wife was leaving the house, I helped her to pack. She called me on my birthday and I hanged up the phone.

The guy who I caught her having sex with has moved away from the area, but I am still here because this is my house. It is not easy for me to trust women again.

E.K.

Dear E.K.,

It is unfortunate that some women who were born in the Caribbean and grew up in the Caribbean change drastically when they move to North America. They don't just change by trying to speak as Americans, but their whole lifestyle changes. They become extravagant in spending, and some are very disrespectful to their partners.

On the other hand, there are some men who are just as bad. They don't treat their women well. Some guys join with others and have many women. They don't save, and they are very careless.

Your wife lost respect for you. She behaved as a fool, but I am glad you kept your cool when you caught her having sex. I am glad you didn't get yourself into trouble. It will take a long time for you to learn to trust another woman, but I hope you will. Not all women will cheat. And it is wrong for you to take the position that because your wife cheated, your present lady will cheat too.

Both of you have to learn and trust each other, but it will not happen overnight. I wish you well.

Pastor