I cheated because my man is mean

Dear Pastor,

I have been with my daughter's father for the past three years. He has been very good to her, but he has spoilt her.

Whenever she does anything wrong and I try to correct her, he excuses her and tells me that she is a child.

I slapped her one day because she misbehaved and would you believe that this man slapped me back in my face before the child?

I was so surprised that he would do so in her presence. The child saw what happened and since then, whenever I try to correct her, she tells me that she would tell her daddy if I hit her.

Pastor, I love this man, but he is not very kind to me. At present, I am not working and he does not give me any money.

Before I met him, I had a friend; he is a medical doctor. He is married, and I called him and we hooked up after six years.

Two weeks ago he called me and told me where we should meet. I went and we spent some time together.

He asked me if I had a need and I told him that was why I had called him in the first place. He told me he suspected.

When he was taking off my clothes, I asked him what he was doing and he joked that he was only examining me.

We made love for more than an hour and he told me he had not cheated with anybody since he got married. I told him I did not believe him, but he said he would swear on The Bible.

I did not feel guilty cheating on my child's father because he is too mean to me. I get money for the house but he doesn't give me money for myself.

My doctor friend gave me $50,000. I never thought I would cheat on my child's father, but now that I have started, I doubt I will stop.

Some men drive women to cheat and I know that is true in my case.

I am 28. I just wish my man would give me what I want. I asked him if he would marry me and he told me he is not the marrying type.

So, please tell me what to do.

L.D

Dear L.D,

Your child's father had no right to slap you in the presence of your child. In fact, he is very out of order to hit you.

He was sending the wrong message to his child by slapping you; he was saying that is what a man should do to a woman if he disagrees with her.

You have to find other ways in disciplining your child. You do not have to hit her to discipline her. At the same time, I am not saying that the rod must never be used on a child. But that is another matter for discussion.

You said that your child's father takes care of the home, but he is mean to you. I suppose you have to literally beg him for money. That is indeed unfortunate.

You believe that his meanness has driven you into the arms of an old boyfriend. So you have started to cheat.

You are playing a dangerous game. You can never be sure that your child's father will not find out. When a woman is cheating, her attitude towards her spouse changes; he eventually finds out.

Everybody needs money, but you could have worked out something with your man instead of turning to cheating. He should know that you need money for yourself.

But since he is so dumb, you could have made a list of the things you need and show it to him.

Your doctor friend is quite willing to meet with you and have sex. But, I repeat, that is not a good thing to do. I don't wish anything to happen to you, but I must warn you not to go down that path. Bad things can happen.

Pastor