Younger girlfriend trying to ‘kill me with it’

Dear Pastor,

I am 40 years old and I read your column every day. I would say, keep up the good work. I have three children with two different women.

But my relationship with these women did not work. I was a very jealous man. I used to get along well with the mother of two of my children.

But we had an argument and it ended up in a fight, and we separated. She went back to live at her parents' home and while she was there, I became involved with another woman and she got pregnant for me.

I didn't love her that much and she had her boyfriend, and that brought an end to their relationship. She went to the US with my son.

The relationship I am having now is with a woman who is half my age. Everything is going well between us. But I can hardly manage her when it comes to sex.

She is threatening to either leave me or cheat. Whenever we are having sex, she plays reggae music and she dances on me. I can hardly keep up.

Several times I have had to ask her to stop because I felt as if my heart was going to give out. I told her to play softer music, but she doesn't want to listen.

Sometimes when we are finished having sex, I have to rest. But then she wants more. I don't want her to leave, because I don't want another relationship.

Thank you for reading my letter. She does not know that I have written to you. When I get your answer I will show it to her.

V.L.

Dear V.L.,

This girl is much younger than you and she is not sympathetic to you. Not only is she younger than you, she has experience.

She reminds me of a song that a popular artiste sang about women who love rough sex. You are not an old man, but it is difficult for you to keep up with this woman. She is not easily satisfied.

Yes sir, she likes to hear reggae music during sex, and heavy reggae, too. You have tried to keep up, but it is not working in your favour.

Your heart is broken because here is this girl you love so much threatening you. She says it is either you perform or she is going to cheat on you or leave you.

What I am about to say to you will not be any encouragement to you, but I have to tell you the truth. It is in your interest that you help this girl to pack her bag and leave, because it is only a matter of time before she cheats.

She has been thinking about it and she is doing you a big favour by telling you that when she does cheat, you should not be surprised, because you have not been able to go up to the challenge.

So if you are crying inside, stop wasting your time; let this woman go her way. Help her to pack and save your heart. I tell you what you can also do for her.

When she is leaving, put some money in an envelope and give it to her, but do not allow her to leave anything behind.

Change the lock on your door, because if this woman is able to come back to your house, she is likely to 'kill you with it'.

Pastor