Sleeping with my sister’s boyfriend

Dear Pastor,

I am 25 and I am sharing a house with my sister, who is 27. She has a boyfriend but he does not live with us. However, he helps to pay her portion of the rent because she is studying for her master's degree. I had a boyfriend, but we broke up about a year ago.

My sister is having a relationship with another man. I know about it because he comes to the house sometimes and the both of them are locked up in her room for hours having sex.

One day I asked my sister about him and she said that she loved him. Her boyfriend is a great guy and I found out that he likes me.

GET 'A PIECE'

He asked me for sex and I refused. He told me that I shouldn't tell my sister that he liked me. I told him he would have to pay me not to tell her.

He asked me how much. I told him he could start with $5,000. He laughed and said he thought that it would be more, but he would give me more if he could get 'a piece'.

I told him I didn't sell sex. But then I said to myself, if my sister could give him 'bun', I could give him a piece.

So, one day I told him that I was staying home so he could come to see me. When he came, I asked him for the money first.

We were together, but I was uneasy. Anyway, we decided to go through with it. We undressed, but I changed my mind. But he talked me into it.

I felt bad about it after he left. He asked me again, so now he is having sex with both of us.

I don't know how to stop because I have started to love him. But when he is here with my sister, I stay out of their way. She doesn't suspect anything.

He told me that he loves me more than my sister. I told him I was going to find my own man.

I never thought that I would be having sex with my sister's boyfriend. How can I break up with this man? My head tells me I should, but my heart says otherwise.

T.C.

Dear T.C.,

You say that your sister and this man are lovers, but she is having an intimate relationship with another man.

So you would consider your sister as a cheater and that she is not a good woman. But you also love your sister's boyfriend.

You are just as bad as your sister. She is cheating on him, and he is cheating on her with you.

Do you really have to do what you are doing? The Bible says the love of money is the root of all evil. Your sister gets money from this man and yet she is having sex with another man; and it is likely that she is getting money from him also.

Her man is paying her half of the rent and he is also giving you money. You women are bleeding this guy. Some men spend so much money on sex that they end up being very poor.

Nothing I say to you would make you stop having sex with this man, because you are not ready to give him up.

You say that your head tells you that you should stop, but your heart says otherwise. Your heart is the centre of your emotions and it is causing you to do foolish things.

If you were using your head, you would realise that you were wrong to go to bed with this man. But you love his money, and you love what he does to you in bed.

But I must warn you, if you don't stop having sex with this man, your sister may find out and it would be hell between the both of you.

I would say to you that you don't love your sister, and this man has already declared that he loves you more. He might be lying, but that is what he says. Consider what you are doing and leave this man.

Pastor