I need to get over this miscarriage

Dear Pastor,

I love the work you are doing. Sir, please keep it up. I am 28 years old and I recently broke up with my 27-year-old boyfriend. We were in a relationship for over a year. We both agreed to be friends with benefit, so I didn't feel it was necessary to tell him about the married man who takes care of me.

This married man and I lived together for six years, and because of how good I treated his kids, he promised to help me to go back to school. He also helps me take care of my daughter because her father doesn't help out with anything. He kept his promise even though we are just friends now. He is a really good man. He and his wife are back together, so we are now just friends.

My ex-boyfriend asked me about the married man, I told him most of what I thought he should know. I found out that my cousin was telling him things. I ended up getting pregnant for the young man and I told him that because I am attending school, I would do an abortion because I don't want the distraction. This would have been my second child; my first child is 10 years old.

I got stressed

He told me to keep the baby and I did. However, a week after, he started acting up, saying things about the married man, even though I told him that the relationship that we had is over.

My cousin was still discussing me with him and I got stressed and fed up. The guy told me to leave him alone, but when the baby is born I should tell him. I cried so much, I couldn't sleep or eat, I was really depressed. I tried to talk to him one last time, but he cursed me, so I stopped. The day after we had an argument, I started to bleed and had a miscarriage at nine weeks. The baby came out partially developed.

I made contact with him later in the night and he did not reply. Three weeks after, he sent me a text message saying, he knows that I "dash weh the belly" and he is hurt over it.

I tried my best to not pass his house because I am not one to hate anyone, even when they do me wrong. I am a forgiving person, but when people cross the line with me, that is when I get serious.

I have been so depressed. I can't sleep or eat. I have lost weight. I love this guy, and I can't believe that he just doesn't care about me. He is the first man who is younger than me that I have been with, and now I know he will be the last.

I will continue to focus on my child and school because I will not make depression cause me to fail my courses. However, I just need some advice as to how I can deal with the miscarriage and how to move on.

Thank you for reading my letter.

P.A.

Dear P.A.,

I would encourage you to try to make an appointment with a family counsellor for professional help. You said that you experienced a miscarriage. This young man does not believe you, but whether he believes or not, you should leave him alone and consider him dead.

You do not want anyone to stress you out, so to speak. And you are not going to overcome the relationships you have had with these men. But the way this young man has treated you, he should not be worried about your miscarriage. He has never trusted you.

I could understand how depressed you feel. You have made mistakes, but trust God. Put your life in God's hand. Read your Bible and pray, and do everything in your power to take care of your child. I assure you of my prayers.

Pastor