Can’t tell my girlfriend that I’m already married

Dear Pastor,

I am having a problem. I am a Jamaican, but I am living in the US. I am here with a woman. I met her three years ago. She works with a family. I have my woman in Jamaica.

I went to Jamaica and married her. But this woman in the US doesn't know that I got married. She is still hoping that I would marry her so that she can get her papers.

I haven't told her that I can't marry her. I have tried to 'push' a friend of mine on her and I told him that I got married.

She does not know that he told me that he and her have been having sex. I didn't say anything to her, but she is still asking me when we are going to get married.

She comes to the house and stays with me every weekend and she goes back to work on a Sunday evening. I used to have sex with her without the condom.

But now that my friend is having sex with her, I am using the condom. My friend was married, but his wife divorced him.

He told me that he does not have any money to help this woman. I have my wife in Jamaica and I have to file for her.

This woman is a nice woman, but she needs help. Do you think I should tell her the truth? I don't want to hurt her. I don't know how she would take it.

My friend, who is having sex with her, said I should not let her know that he told me they had sex.

Initials Withheld

Dear Writer,

You have been lying to this woman. You should stop lying and tell her the truth. Tell her you are married and you cannot get married to her because if you do, you would be guilty of bigamy.

You were trying to push your friend on this woman. He knows that you are married, but at the same time, this woman believes that you and her are lovers and that you would marry her. Although she is unaware that you are married, she was quite willing to have sex with your friend.

I suppose both of you are encouraging this woman to prostitute herself and that is wrong. Your friend cannot help her and you cannot help her, so why use the woman?

That is wrong, so very wrong. It shows you what some women are willing to do to get the opportunity to live in the US. Get out of this situation.

I repeat, tell the woman the truth and ask her for forgiveness for giving her the impression that you would marry her and help her to get the opportunity to live in the US.

Be a big man and talk the truth. But don't let her know that your so-called friend has told you that both of them have had sex.

Pastor