In love with my church brother

Dear Pastor,

I am a regular reader of your writing. Keep up your good work. I am writing to you about a personal matter. Please, do not take long to answer.

I am a Christian and I am in love with a brother. But he does not know that I love him. Whenever I go to church and I see him, I pretend that he does not exist.

Pastor, he has a good job and he is very handsome. I have been in the church for more than three years. I am active and I teach the Sunday school class. I have a good job also.

This guy has a car. I do not. But I have never asked him for a ride. There is this girl who is new to the church. She has been attending for about a year and six months.

She has a car and she is very attractive. But I noticed that she likes the guy. Every move he makes in the church, she is behind him.

Pastor, I feel very jealous and I feel that if anybody should get this man, I should be the one.

He is of light complexion. He is tall and he goes to the gym every week. This girl is dark-skinned. I was told that she has a child and the child is living with her mother.

Do you think that it is wrong for me to tell this guy that I love him? I have been thinking of inviting him out. But I am not sure that I should do so.

I am writing you for your suggestion. I go to bed at nights and my thoughts are on this guy. Please tell me what to do.

A.N.

Dear A.N.,

I beg you, don't cause any fuss in the church over this man. People say that there are few Christian men.

Sometimes it is not that they are few. They are in the church, but many times the women are much more educated than the men.

So when there is a brother in the church who is handsome, educated and dedicated to the Lord, the women often show great interest in him. It is not unusual for a number of girls to love that same man. It can cause problems.

You feel that because you have been in the church much longer than the other young woman that this man should show favour to you. But the man will marry you if he loves you.

It is not a matter of how long you have been in the church. Even if a woman has come into the church for a relatively short time and has a child, that does not disqualify her from becoming his wife if he loves her.

I must hasten to tell you that you will not be doing anything wrong if you should invite this man out on a date. He can only accept or reject.

But please, if you were to go out with him, say nothing negative about anyone of the sisters in the church. I wish you well. Take care of yourself.

Pastor