Boyfriend leaving me for his babymother … - And I am going to break up his wedding

Dear Pastor,

For the past four years I have been dating a young man. The relationship was going very strong. I know his parents and he knows mine. But for the last six months, things have changed.

He was invited to a certain church and he wanted me to attend also, but I refused. We used to always go out together. He has two children with a young woman who attends the same church.

I found it strange that suddenly he wanted to go to that church every weekend. I love his children. I travel and I buy clothes for them whenever I go to the US. Now that he is attending the church, he is too busy for us to go out.

He is now saying that he is sorry, but our relationship will have to come to an end because he would love his children, himself and their mother to live under one roof.

When we met, he told me that the children's mother was very difficult to get along with and she wanted to boss him around.

Now he is saying that she has changed and she is a very dedicated Christian. I asked him what about the years that we have been together, and all he can say is that he is sorry.

He said that for the children's sake, he wants to marry their mother. I am so hurt because I wasted my time with this man.

I helped him to go to university and look what he is doing to me. I told him that I will break up the wedding. I only want to know the date, time and place of the wedding and I will be there. I complained to his parents and all they can say is that they sympathise with the situation, but he has to make his own decision.

He has a car and it was bought in his name, but it was bought with my money. We still owe on the car, but I am paying for it every month. I told him to bring the keys. I am serious about it. I asked him if he told his children's mother that the car is mine and he said no. Some very evil thoughts are in my mind to do to this man. He told me he would have never gone back to her. He has messed up my life. He is not going to get away from what he has done to me.

Y.R.

Dear Y.R.,

First of all, I am sorry to hear that this guy has had an intimate relationship with you for four years and is now moving on.

From what you have written, you have not done him any wrong. He has reconciled with his children's mother, and he wants to marry her; and for this woman, his children and himself to live together as one family.

Perhaps he did not mean to fool you, but that is how it appears now. You do not deserve this, but his mind is made up.

PERISH THAT THOUGHT

You said you would like to know the date, the time and the place of his wedding because you would like to break up the wedding. I would like to tell you to perish that thought. If you attempted to do that, it will not stop the wedding. So, leave him alone. He is not the only man in the world. You may find a better man.

You have spent a lot on him. You assisted him in going to university and you also bought a car in his name. I am sure you bought the car in his name because you believed that both of you were going to get married. I hope that he will willingly turn over the car to you.

I can imagine that you are not sleeping well at nights, but don't allow what he is doing to make you become ill. You will bounce back.

You are an intelligent young woman. Wish him well. I am sure you have shed some tears, but dry your tears.

You may have to seek a lawyer if this man is reluctant in giving you back the car. Yes, I know it is in his name, but you are still paying the loan on the car.

I hope that he would be decent enough to do what is right. So, talk with a lawyer.

Pastor