My man treats me like trash

Dear Pastor

I am a reader of your column. I am 32 years old and I live with my three sons. During my pregnancy with my third child I found out that my man and his ex-girlfriend were still seeing each other.

Whenever I talked to him about it he behaved as if he did not care.

He used to curse me and tell me that I could leave him, and I could leave the baby because he would take care of the baby. I refused to leave because I did not have anywhere to go and because I was not working. He is the father of my third child.

My child's father does not show me any respect or love. He talks to me any way he pleases and treats me like I don't exist in the world.

His ex-girlfriend even texted me and asked me why I was settling down with a man who did not want me and was not showing any interest in me.

So I am asking you for your advice, because right now I am stressed. I don't know what to do. I cry many nights seeking happiness.

V.B.

Dear V.B

This man is still not showing any love or concern for you. This woman you described as his ex is not his ex at all, because he is still having an intimate relationship with her.

At the same time, he is telling you that you can go ahead and leave if that is what you would like to do. But you should leave the child.

The man is heartless and disrespectful. But, my dear, you have to learn not to be careless. This is the third time you have allowed yourself to have a child and you are 32.

You should know that it is likely you will become pregnant if you have unprotected sex.

I am not condemning you, but I am just pointing out to you that it is time for you to get smart. You cannot force a man to marry you or love you. But you can insist that he supports his child by taking him to court for child support.

You did not say that he is not supporting his child, but I am only indicating to you that it would be better for your own sanity for you to indeed find a place to go. But you should not leave any of your children with him.

Perhaps he would be glad to see you go so that he could bring in the woman you described as his ex-girlfriend.

You need to get yourself a job, and it is not going to be easy to get employment these days. Nevertheless, you should try. I don't know your circumstances, such as your family ties, but you will have to tell them what's going on and ask them to assist you.

Be willing to wash and clean for them if they have their own homes. Don't be afraid to ask relatives to assist with your children. In the meantime, I will try my best to see if I can help you get a job as a helper or day's worker.

Pastor.