Cheated on my man because I wanted to go to America

Dear Pastor,

I am in my 30s and I have three children. All my children belong to one man. He found out I cheated on him and he beat me and cut my skin. I did not report him to the police. He kept asking me why I did it and I told him the truth.

I met a man who promised that he would help me to go to America. He was in Jamaica visiting his friends. One day I went to see him and he asked me for sex. And because I wanted to get the chance to go to America, I agreed to have sex with him. It is one of his friends who told my children's father that I was with this man. To make matters worse, when my children's father got home, I was not there and I could not really explain myself. He drew his cutlass and threatened me, then he stared at me and walked away.

Pastor, when he drew his cutlass I wetted myself and when the children were sleeping, he asked me again where I was. I did not want to tell him, and he said that I am going to f...... kill you tonight. And I started to tell him that I went with a friend and 'mixing up' myself. He locked the door and started to beat me. He said I should be satisfied with the little he gives to me.

I love my children's father and I did not think this misery would reach me. He does not have much, but he supports his children. I asked his friends why they had to tell my children's father that I was out with this man. And they said they did not tell him, but I know they did.

He was planning to marry me, so he bought a ring and gave me to hold. But since I had sex with this man he told me he wanted his ring back, because I am planning to go to America with another man.

The man I had sex with told me that he was going to get somebody to come and marry me. He was not going to marry me, but he was planning to get somebody to come. I feel so bad to know that the first time I ever cheated on my man he found out and beat me. I don't know if he will ever marry me. I told him to please not to sell the ring because I love it.

I begged him to forgive me many times because I was wrong. My children's father called me a whore. I don't feel like a whore, because I never got any money from this man.

R.

Dear R.,

I am glad that you are alive and your boyfriend did not carry out his threats. I have deleted some of the things you said. You made a big mistake. You are a cheater, but you are not good at the craft.

The man with whom you cheated with promised to help you get to America. You did not even think what you would do with your children. You accepted what he said and gave him your body. And your children's father was able to get you to confess everything to him.

I am sorry that he beat you and took away the ring that he bought. If he has forgiven you, I hope the day will come when he will marry you and give you back the ring because you love it so much.

Take good care of yourself, your children and their father. I hope that this man will not always remind you of what you did. I agree with you that you are not a whore. You just made very big mistake.

Pastor