She nearly cleaned out my bank account

Dear Pastor,

I am a 44-year-old man, and I got myself involved with a 26-year-old woman. I knew her boyfriend. They have a child together. They were living about a mile from me.

He went to the US to work, and this girl and I started to see each other. She was not hearing from him, so many times, I had to help her out with money.

One day she told me that people reported her to her boyfriend, saying that she and I were together, which was really true, but she denied it.

I told her that she should not deny it because I didn't have a woman in my life, and since it was in the open, she should give up the house where she was and move in with me.

HE MOVED OUT

My son was living in the house with me, and his girlfriend would visit. I told my son that this woman was coming to live at the house, and he said if she did, he would move out. I told him he did not have to leave, but he decided to go.

Her boyfriend in the US sent her some nasty texts, and she showed them to me. I tried to take care of her. She was not working. Pastor, I tell you no lie. She made me feel happy.

I had $300,000 in my bank account. I told her that whatever she needed, she could withdraw the money. I gave her my PIN. In the space of six months, my money dwindled to $100,000.

I asked her why she went into the account so often and what she did with the money. She said I was behaving as if I had $1 million.

I was very upset, and I told her that she must have another man. She said yes and said that she gave the money to the other man.

Later on, she said that she did not have another man, but she did not like what I had said, so she responded in anger. I have got to love this girl so much. She is very clean and I don't want to throw her out.

Her little boy calls me daddy. I changed everything in my account, and I do not let her go and draw any money anymore. I cannot tell my son what she did because he would tell me that I should have known what I was getting into.

I am asking kindly for your advice.

K.J.

Dear K.J.,

You took over this woman totally after she told you that she was not hearing from her child's father. Evidently, you were always admiring her and hoping both of you would get together.

Then you invited her to live with you. Sir, this thing called love can make a man do foolish things. There is a saying that "see mi and come live with me a two different things".

Everything was sweet when she came to live with you. So you allowed this young woman to have access to your account. That money ($300,000) might not be a lot of money to some people, but to a 44-year-old man, it is like $1 million.

Lots of men who have worked hard and have tried to save don't have more than $300,000 in the bank. So regardless of how sweet a woman is, a man should not allow a woman to go into his account and withdraw whatever amount she wishes.

That was a big mistake you made.

But you were not unreasonable when you asked her what she had done with your money. Even if she felt upset by the question or by the comment, she was out of order to respond the way she did.

GROUND RULES

You should have told her then and there to make plans to leave. So as Peter Tosh would say, "Sorry fi maga dawg, him tun roun bit yuh".

I don't know what plans you have for the future, but I must warn you that if it includes this woman, make sure she gets a job. Make sure she is not allowed to go into your account.

You are almost 50. You have to work hard and save your money because anything can happen to you, and your son might not be so willing to come to your rescue because he knows that this young woman is 'nyamming you out'.

Pastor