My babyfather is a womaniser

Dear Pastor,

I am a regular reader of your column. I am 39 years old, and I have two children. I grew up with my parents, but I left home when I was 21 years old. I was in love with my high-school sweetheart. I broke my parents' rules.

I used to leave my parents' home when they were sleeping and go out and have sex in the bush behind my parents' home then go back to my room after my boyfriend left. I continued to do so until one night, my father heard rumbling and came out and caught me going into my room. I thought he would beat me, but he didn't. He called me some dirty names and warned me not to bring any belly into his house.

When I was 18 years old, I told my mother that I was going on my own. She discouraged me, but I still left. My boyfriend was living with his grandparents and he asked them if I could come and live with them, and they said yes.

Soon after, I started living with my boyfriend. I got pregnant, and that is where my troubles started. This is because my boyfriend had another girlfriend, who I didn't know about, and he got her pregnant, too. So we were both pregnant at the same time. I spoke to my mother, and I told her that I was pregnant and that I wanted to come back home. She said my father wouldn't want me back, so I should stay where I am.

After my baby was born,I went back to my parents' home for a weekend, and when my father saw his grandchild, tears came to his eyes. My mother told him that I wasn't happy, so he told me I could come home. So I did.

My boyfriend came to the house, and he demanded that I come back to him, but I did not go back to him. So he moved in with the other girl. After being with him for one year, he got another girl pregnant.

I went to HEART/NTA, and I am now doing my own little business. This man won't leave me alone. One Saturday, my parents went to a funeral, and he stopped by the house. He insisted that we should have sex. When I said no, he tried to rape me. Because of my son, I did not report him. I don't want to have anything to do with him because he is a womaniser, but I wouldn't want my son's father to go to prison. I did not tell my parents what he did. He promised that he would come back another time because he still loved me, but I hate this man. Please give me your advice.

B.R.

Dear B.R.,

I am glad that you went back to your parents' home. I know that you regret your past. You had a wild life as a teenager. Your parents loved you. They didn't throw you out after your father discovered that you were going out at night and having sex. You failed to listen to them.

You believed that you should have your boyfriend and do what you want to do, so you left your parents' house. It was only after that that you discovered that your boyfriend had other women and that he was not very truthful.

That day, he came to see you at the house, he insisted that both of you should have sex, but you objected. He warned you that it was not over. What he was telling you is that he would try again.

I understand why you have not reported him to the police and why you did not let your parents know that he was at the house, but I would suggest that you discuss this matter with a lawyer. I don't see why an injunction cannot be taken out against this young man. Talk to a lawyer. It might not be as expensive as you think, and I believe that you will be safeguarding yourself against this beast if a restraining order is taken out against him.

Pastor