Harassed by a guy I don’t want

Dear Pastor

I am 19 years old and I have a boyfriend who is 25 years old. When I met him, he told me that he did not have any girlfriend, but he was trying to find one. He said that I looked like the type of girl he was searching for. I asked him how he could know that I was the type of girl he was searching for by just looking at me. He said that he liked the way I talked and walked, and every time I smiled I had dimples on my face, and he always liked girls who had dimples.

We got to know each other, but after two weeks of friendship I told him that I did not want to go further in the relationship because he was not constructive.

Every time we talked on the phone he was always saying that he can't sleep because I was always on his mind, and that we should plan to spend some time on the north coast where we can be alone and have our time together.

His uncle, who lives in the United States of America, has an apartment on the north coast,and his relatives are in charge of it so we would not have to pay to use it. I told him that it would be too soon for us to go and stay for a weekend and for him to have sex with me. He told me it was the only way we could go on. He said that if we had sex the relationship between both of us would go deeper because these days you can't know a man or a woman if you don't have sex with them.

One day, he called me pretending to be somebody else. He came to our gate and called me from there and begged me to come out and see him because he was longing to see me. My brother went out and asked him who he wanted and he told him that we were lovers, and that he wanted to see me. My brother told him that he would call me, but when my brother came back in he told me not to go. So after a while he drove away.

I called him the following day and told him not to embarrass me like that, and he should not come to the house. I finally lied to him and told him that I had a boyfriend and that he was a bad man, and if he continued to harass me, my boyfriend would fix his business. But he still called. So, I am asking you what I should do to get this man to stop harassing me.

I go to classes in the evenings and sometimes after my last class I would see him in his car parked not far from the school gate. I am really concerned. So, please tell me what to do.

S.

Dear S.,

You should report this man to the police. You should also talk to your father about him. You don't have to lie to get this man to stop stalking you.

You need to be careful because you never know what he will do. Perhaps a restraining order can be taken out against him. This guy has one aim, and that is to get under your skirt, and I am glad that you came realise that early in the relationship.

Pastor