Babyfather doesn’t give me anything for his child

Dear Pastor,

This is the first time I am writing to you but I read your column every day it as helps me. I am 20 years old and I have two children for two different men.

One is two years old and the other is one. My first child's father had a girl pregnant while I was pregnant. In addition to that, he said the child I was carrying was not his.

He made me look as if I was a bad girl. He was a 'big man', just a few years younger than my father. He made up all types of stories.

My father went to see him at his work place and he told my father that I had another man with him. My father had to threaten him and that caused him to shut up.

This guy knew that he was lying. While he had me pregnant, the other girl was pregnant, too, and he said the same thing about the other girl, accusing her of being bad, too.

But this girl comes from the ghetto and he was afraid of her people. I have not got anything from him for my baby and I don't want anything from him either.

I have a boyfriend now and he sends me back to school. He is a soldier and he does not talk much; he is the father of my second child.

He does not want me to have anything to do with my first child's father. I don't want to put pressure on my boyfriend. My father told him that he should allow me to take my first child's father to court but he told him he does not like this court business.

Is anything wrong with taking him to court? I don't know if he is taking care of the other child with this woman. What should I do?

J.A.

Dear J.A.,

You know for sure that your first child's father is a liar, so him telling your father that you were a bad girl should not have surprised you.

Your present boyfriend doesn't want you to take him to court for child support. Perhaps he feels that this guy will embarrass you in open court. Therefore, he prefers that he goes free. However, I encourage you to take him to court and if he is not taking care of the other child, that woman should take him to court too. She should make him support his child.

I am glad that you're back in school. And I hope that you won't waste your time and that you will do well. I hope that the soldier man will respect you and you will respect him, and the time will come when the both of you will get married. Take care of yourself and be careful.

Pastor