Found a strange man in my girlfriend’s house

Dear Pastor,

I have a girlfriend and I work very hard. One day, I went to see her and saw a car parked at her gate. I knew someone was there to see her. She is 23 and I am 25.

I do not own a car, but she is always telling me that I should buy a car because she is tired of taking the bus.

Pastor, I only make $17,000 a week. She lives alone and she makes a little more money than I do. I told her that we should live together, and that would put us in a position to buy a car. She told me that she does not want to live with any man and it is the man who should take care of the woman.

When I went to the house and saw the parked car, I went to the front door and knocked. She opened the door and I saw a man sitting down. I said 'Good evening', passed him and went into her room. The man left 10 minutes later. I asked my girlfriend who he was and she told me he was a friend and that I should not question her about him.

An argument developed between us and I slapped her. I asked her if she had slept with him and she said yes and that it was not any of my business.

I did not believe her, but we got into a fight. She went for a kitchen knife and came at me with the intention of stabbing me. I left the house barefooted. I asked her to throw out my shoes, but she did not. I had to walk on the street as a madman without shoes.

Pastor, I love this woman very much. I called her and apologised, but she told me that the relationship was over and she did not want me anymore. I am begging you to give me your best advice, because I want her back.

B.M.

Dear B.M.,

I don't doubt that you love this woman. She told you she was tired of taking the bus and any man who wants her should really have a car.

You are not prepared to buy a car and she came to the place that, if you were not going to buy a car, she would find a man who has one.

So, when you went to visit her and you saw a car parked at her house, you figured that she had a male visitor, and you were correct. She opened the door for you and you went in.

You questioned her about the man and she told you he was her friend. You were very unhappy with her response and lost control and slapped her. This is where you went wrong.

You did not have any right to assault this woman. You were not paying her rent or any of her bills, but even if you were paying her rent and she had a male visitor, that did not give you the right to abuse her. You were so wrong in what you did. You are fortunate that you were able to get away from her that evening, otherwise you might have been a dead man.

Why is it that you men like to beat women? The woman does not want you anymore. She did not want to explain anything to you about her male visitor.

You should have left and gone to your yard. I could imagine seeing you on the road walking barefooted as a madman. I can't have any sympathy for a man who behaves like a fool.

Now you are begging her to take you back. Go away and learn how to treat a woman with respect.

Pastor