Mom doesn’t like my girlfriend because she’s ‘mixed’

Dear Pastor,

I have been reading your columns before I started attending high school. My grandmother used to bring home the paper and that was the first thing I would read.

I grew up on your columns. Now I am living in Florida and I still read your column and listen to you on the radio. I am 23 and I am living with relatives.

But my girlfriend wants me to come and live with her. She is a few years older than I am and she is half-white. My mother is living in Jamaica and when I told her that I have a half white girlfriend and she wanted me to live with her, she said that she didn't like the idea and I should try and stay with 'my kind'.

My father is more open. He said that the girl is working and she can help me so I should take the chance and if the relationship doesn't work, I can always move on.

My girlfriend said that she would like us to have a child together. I told her I was not ready but she is ready because she has her master's degree and she does not want to get too old before having a baby. She wants to come to Jamaica to meet my mother's side of the family but we can plan to do that when things are back to normal.

She lives in a condo and she is not like some girls in the US who do not like to cook. She enjoys cooking and that is one of the reasons why my father loves her and is encouraging me in this relationship. She doesn't care for fast food and she doesn't pressure me for anything.

A few weeks ago I bought a car and she gave me half of the money. I asked her if it was a loan and she said it was a gift. There are some Jamaican girls working in the same business place where I work and when I told them my girlfriend bought the car for me, they told me I was lying.

I don't have to lie about that Pastor. But I write you to ask your opinion. As I said she is half-white. I don't like her because she is half-white. I like her for who she is. She is kind and understanding and hard-working. She is not a gold digger as some of our Jamaican girls are.

I went out with a couple of girls who work in my company and they were telling me how broke they were on our very first date. This girl has never asked me for money. She is always encouraging me to save. I will be looking in THE STAR for your answer.

N.W.

Dear N.W.,

I am glad to hear from you. I really thank you for writing. I am happy to know that you have been reading my columns for many years. I hope that you would do well in the US.

I know your mother loves you and she doesn't want anything bad to happen to you. You have to assure her that having a relationship with this young woman will not hinder or spoil the love that you have for her.

You have mentioned a few things that have impressed me. This young woman is not living on fast food as so many young girls are doing today. She enjoys cooking and that alone would hold any Jamaican man. Jamaican men like home cooked meals.

She doesn't appear to be a gold-digger. She hasn't asked you for a cent. She is a smart young woman. She has figured out that you don't have any money anyway. So she is willing and ready to help you. Keep that car that she has bought for you in very good condition.

You should try your best and go back to school. She will help you along the way. Your father will give you some guidance. I am assuming that he has been living in the US for a long time. He understands the ropes.

Although this woman wants to have children, she is intelligent enough to know not to push you until you are ready. I wish you well in this relationship.

Pastor