Boyfriend trying to see me naked

Dear Pastor,

I am a 22 years old girl and my boyfriend is 25. He has never seen me naked and I have never seen him naked. He has tried to lift up my skirt but I always protest.

This man and I have gone on dates, but every time he tries to talk to me about anything sexual, I shut him down. I told him that we should talk about spiritual things. He asked me one day how we would 'know' about each other. I told him that, when the time comes, we will know.

He is getting frustrated, but there is no need for that. He is threatening to hold me down, but my teeth are sharp and I will bite him. Everybody at church feels that we are an ideal couple, but they don't know what this man is putting me through. What can I do? Our engagement is on December 24, 2020, but he insists that he wants to see me naked first.

V.W.

Dear V.W.,

I have observed that you did not say whether this man wants to have sex with you before he marries you. He is asking for you to allow him to see you naked.

I believe that you are scared of that because you believe that he might be trying to trick you or that you believe that it is wrong to expose yourself to him before you marry.

No one should condemn you for the position you have taken. A man gets real excited by what he sees, and you may feel that he may want to go much further after seeing your sexy body.

I cannot tell you to strip for this guy and you're not married to him. But I do know that if this man really wants to know whether you are a female, he can suggest that you go to the doctor. He can even accompany you to the doctor for you to be examined and let the doctor give him a report with your consent. That will surely not cause you to have a guilty conscience. Have you ever considered taking your boyfriend to the beach in your bikini? That would allow him to see much of you. Would you object to that?

I confess to you that this is not an easy letter to answer, but I suggest that both of you should meet with a family counsellor and discuss these problems. The counsellor may have some suggestions to give to you.

Pastor