Disgusted by my freaky husband

Dear Pastor,

My husband will watch the television for hours. He drinks beer and watches the news forever. But the moment I go to the bathroom to have my shower, he will be there.

Sometimes I don't want him in there with me, but he will not listen. We have been married for four years now and before we got married, I used to enjoy scrubbing each other's backs.

We fool around a lot in the bathroom under the shower. Sometimes even when I am having my period, my husband still wants to be in there with me playing around. He is so disgusting.

I told him that this cannot be normal. Sometimes my husband enjoys having sex with me in the shower while I am seeing my period. I asked some of my friends about that and they said nothing was wrong with it. My husband is five years younger than I am. I am 35 years old. There are so many things my husband likes to do. I try not to object because he says it is his way of spicing up our marriage.

I am tired of objecting to this thing. Sometimes when he is finished with me in the shower, I am exhausted. I just want to know from you if it is normal for a man to do these things to his wife in the shower. Why should my husband think that he has a right to use my rag to tidy my private parts when I am seeing my period?

We do not have children, but we are trying to. I am much shorter than my husband. He tells me that if I cooperate with him, I will get pregnant. He is a very, very good husband, but his behaviour can be weird.

K.

Dear K.,

I am not surprised by anything people write to me. Your husband and yourself seem to have a very good relationship. The little age difference is not a bother.

I have been asked many times if it is right for couples to have sex while a woman is seeing her period. I can tell you that is not something I would encourage couples to do. However, I am not prepared to condemn those who practise to do so. As a counsellor, I have been told that some women enjoy having sex during that time. I repeat, I am not going to condemn those who engage in it, but it seems to me that a man should be able to control himself for a few days until his woman's period comes to an end.

Couples can do whatever they want to do in the bathroom or outside the bathroom. I would say to you, your husband should respect your feelings. But you should try your best not to do anything that may cause him to feel that you are rejecting him and encourage him to seek sexual gratification elsewhere.

Pastor