My ex keeps asking about me

Dear Pastor,

I am 33 years old and I always read your column. I want to say to you keep up your good work. I have two children, but by two different men. Much of my time is taken up with them. One of the men is very responsible and he takes care of his child. He supports her but he is always questioning her about me. Whenever she goes and spends a day or so with him, he wants to know if I have a man and if this man is sleeping with me.

My other daughter does not have that kind of problem with her father. The only problem is that he hardly takes her anywhere and she is jealous of her sister. I have to be making excuses for him and I am tired of it. I told my first daughter's father to stop questioning our daughter about me. He said he is only doing so because he still loves me. I am not in love with him, but I admire him.

When he got me pregnant, I did not know he had another woman in his life and when I found out, I told him to go. He also lied to me about his age. He was much older than I and he had three other children. I only want the best for my girls and I don't intend to get involve with any other man until my girls are finished with university.

Withheld

Dear Withheld,

Some men are always questioning their children about their mother's male visitors. They still want to be a part of these women's lives. They give the children the impression that it is because of love why they want to know. I do not believe that it is because of love. I believe it is because of jealousy, and many of them are hoping that the women will take them back.

I think you should confront this man again. Tell him that you are not involved in his life, so he should not be involved in yours and he had blown the opportunity he had to have a solid relationship with you, and there is no hope of the both of you getting together. You are quite happy without him.

Pastor