Boyfriend doesn’t want me out of his sight

Dear Pastor,

I have been reading your column for a long time and I can say that you give good advice. I am 19 years old and I am working with my boyfriend. We have been friends from I was 16.

It was not my intention to work with him but I am planning to leave Jamaica very soon, so while I wait on my call, I am helping him in his office and I am getting to know so much about his business. It was his father who started this business but his father hardly comes to the business place.

My boyfriend does not want me to go abroad. He says I should stay in Jamaica and go to university here. I want to get the experience to go abroad. My boyfriend doesn't want me to talk to other guys. He feels that they will take me away from him but I have never cheated on him. Why should I cheat on a man who took my virginity on my 16th birthday and now pays me $17,500 every week to work in his office, and sometimes mostly what I do is to answer the telephone and type letters for him?

I am living with my parents and every Friday evening before taking me home, he takes me to the supermarket and he buys enough groceries for the house. So sometimes when I get my pay, I deposit it in my account. My only problem with him is that he is 10 years older than I am. I told my mother his age and she told me not to put that on my mind. My mother had to do surgery and my boyfriend paid for the surgery. I did not believe that he would have done so. My father said that men like my boyfriend are not around any more. He wants me to come and live with him but I don't want to leave my mother so I spend most weekends with him. What advice would you give me?

E.

Dear E.,

It seems to me that you have a very caring boyfriend. He has been your first boyfriend and evidently, he has tried to protect you from becoming pregnant. Although you did not say it, he seems to be a jealous man. He does not want you out of his sight, that is why he did not want you to go out and seek a job. He employed you to work in his office. You are a very fortunate girl indeed to be receiving $17,500 a week. Only a good man would take such good care of his woman by buying groceries for her. What a fortunate woman you are. Regardless of what you may think, your mother will always love this man. It takes a good and caring man to pay for the surgery of his mother-in-law. You should not be concerned about this man's age. A 10-year difference is not much but I hope he would not stand in your way and do anything to stop you from going abroad to study. You can always go and come back during school breaks and go back to continue your education. So I wish both of you well.

Pastor