My husband has a sweetheart

Dear Pastor,

I have been married for 10 years and there is not one week that my husband gives me money so that I can feel like a married woman, or that he is responsible for me.

Every weekend my husband goes to the Coronation Market and he buys whatever we need. He goes to the supermarket and picks up the items he likes. Sometimes I ask him if he believes that it is only food and vegetables a woman needs to take care of herself. I told him that a woman should get money from her man to take care of herself. He said I am working so I should take care of myself.

I have to be saving my money to help to send the children to school, and that is expensive. I also want to buy a little car, because the car my husband drives is always breaking down.

My husband has a sweetheart. People have told me that they have seen them together. I asked him how come he has a sweetheart and he is so mean, but he didn't answer me. Maybe she demands what she wants out of him. She is very heavy, so she will not be satisfied. I am fed up of the life I am living. One of his brothers said that I should stand up for my rights. I have never cheated on him, but his brother told me that if I had cheated on him he would treat me better. I cannot bring myself to do that.

E.

Dear E.,

This man is not going to change. You have allowed him to go to Coronation Market and to the supermarket to buy what he feels he should buy for the house. You have not demanded anything from him for yourself, so he does not even believe that he should give you a weekly allowance.

If indeed he has a side chick, it is likely that he has to take care of her. She would be demanding what she wants from him and she would get it. Your brother-in-law is giving you bad advice. He knows his brother is not treating you well, but please don't cheat on your husband. Your husband is a very hard man. He knows that you are helping to run the house in every way. He should treat you better than he is now.

Perhaps everything you have to spend on the children and on the house, you should demand half from your husband. Insist that he steps up and help you with the bills. I wish you well.

Pastor