My man is hooked on Internet beauties

Dear Pastor,

I am 41 years old and my husband is 40. We are a sexless couple. My husband spends most of his time on the Internet chatting with different women.

I try to dress sexy to attract him and to turn him on, but he doesn't even see me. One night I turned off the power in the house, but he realised what I had done and threatened to beat me up. So, I told him I was sorry.

This man and I have been married for 10 years. We have a very good relationship. We have a lovely home. He took me with one child and he has treated her as his own daughter. She loves him to death. I try to keep myself in good shape. I exercise, and I know I look good. But this man has told women to send him photographs of themselves. He has lied to them and told them he is single, and they believed him. He said he is not doing anything with these women, he is just having fun, so I should just leave him alone. Sometimes for three months my husband and I don't have sex. It is hard for me, but I will never cheat on him.

Most of the girls he has online are white. I told him that he should not have married me, he should have married a white girl. He insists that I am nicer than all of them, but I turn him off by complaining all the time. He said that when I stopped complaining about his Internet girls, he would change and come back to me. He doesn't have any outside girlfriend that I know about, only these girls on the Internet.

S.T.

Dear S.T.,

Your husband has become addicted to the white girls on the Internet. Whether these girls are in the nude or simply clad, he gets his kicks by looking at them and perhaps talking to them, too. Yet, I believe him when he says that you are more beautiful than they are. He is looking for something extra. Don't fret over what he is doing. I believe that soon he will get very tired of looking at these white girls. Give him time. Keep yourself in good shape. Don't curse him. You may, however, encourage him to seek professional help. But don't tell him that he is sick, immoral or disgusting.

If he is willing to go to see a counsellor, please accompany him to see the person, but don't condemn him in front of the counsellor. Don't embarrass him at all. The time may come when he may turn his computer off and find pleasure in you only. He is going through a phase that may be difficult to understand. Handle him delicately.

Pastor