I got pregnant by a side man on a truck

Dear Pastor,

I am writing to you with tears in my eyes. I grew up in a very poor household. We did not have much, but we were not starving. My father did farming and we always had enough to eat. One of my uncles and his wife took me to live with them, so off to Kingston I went.

When I was 16, I met a man who was working with my uncle. He told me that he loved me. I told my uncle's wife and she warned him to keep away from me. My uncle told me that these guys in Kingston are always looking for country girls, so I shouldn't allow him to come near me. I listened to my uncle and aunt, but I fell for this guy.

One Saturday I was alone and the guy came by and I told him I was nervous to talk to him because I did not want anyone to see him and report it to my uncle. He brought me a hamburger and chips and told me that my uncle can't stop love, and he was going to make me his wife. I was going to evening classes at the time. I was 17. One evening this guy picked me up in his brother's car. He took me to a quiet and secluded spot and he made love to me and took my virginity.

I became pregnant and my aunt said I could not stay with them anymore. My uncle called me stupid and then he told me that the guy has a babymother and they are living together. The guy didn't tell me about that. I begged my uncle not to send me back to the country. He convinced his wife to let me stay. And, I had to promise to have nothing to do with the guy who got me pregnant. They didn't treat me as their niece anymore. I had to work as their helper, but I was paid every week.

My aunt kept telling me that I am not ambitious because I got pregnant by a side man on a truck. I studied at home in my spare time and got some subjects. My child's father never helped me. He even said that the child is not his. But he was the first and only man I had sex with at that time. Now, I have a very good job, but I am still living at my uncle's house and I have a boyfriend who has proposed to me. My child's father is now coming around and saying that he wants to come back to me and asking me to forgive him. He and his girlfriend have broken up.

I am crying as I write this letter because this man told people that he did not get me pregnant and it hurts.

My fiance and I are planning to get married next Easter. We hope to ask you to do our wedding for us.

J.S.

Dear J.S.

People make mistakes and you made a very big mistake when you got involved with the young man who worked with your uncle. Your uncle knew him well and he warned you about him. You should have taken heed and not allowed him to convince you that he was a good man. I am glad that your uncle did not insist that you return to rural Jamaica. He allowed you to continue staying with them. You studied and passed your exam and now you have a good job. You also have a good man in your life and both of you love each other and have planned to get married.

Your child's father should be ashamed of himself. He did not accept paternity and now he is coming around trying to get back into your life. I need not tell you to keep far from this man.

Concerning your wedding, I will be happy to officiate. Please call me at 876 877-1009 or 876 929-1667. Make sure you call and make an appointment. Don't try to come to the office without making an appointment.

Pastor