My babyfather knocked me unconscious

Dear Pastor,

I have been with a man who is 10 years older than I am for over three years. We have a child together. I did not know that this man was a manipulator until he got me pregnant.

He pays the bills and that is where it stops. Anything else regarding the house, I have to do it. He will use the toilet and don't put down the cover. He won't flush it either. He would just leave everything open. Sometimes I cry because I always feel like a slave. Whenever I wash, no matter how long the line is, he will not assist me in hanging out the clothes. I have to carry every single piece of clothing back and forth while he stays in bed.

He hit me once and I became unconscious and I did not regain consciousness until the following day. When I woke up the following morning, I realised that he had sex with me while I was unconscious. He might have given me something to drink or it was the blow I got from him in my face that caused me not to remember anything.

I told him what I remembered and he said he did not do anything to me. I was scared for my life so I went to the police station and reported the matter. But nothing came out of it. I cannot leave the house without him knowing. He follows me and I am not aware of it. He goes through all my personal stuff on my computer. He doesn't buy me clothes and he does not give me any money to do my hair. He only wants me to do the things that he wants.

I have cried out for help many times, but because I don't have anywhere else to go, I have to stay with him. But now I have made up my mind that I don't want to live with him any longer and abide by his rules. He has taken away all my innocence and confidence. I am so broken and disheartened, physically and emotionally, that I don't remember my age. I am seeking help in finding employment at any hotel in St James. I just need my independence and all that he stole from me.

C.

Dear C,

You did not state your age, but you have made it clear that you do not have anywhere to go. As I read your letter, I wondered about your parents. This man has taken advantage of you. But you cannot take any more of his abuse. So, you are prepared to leave. You would love to get a job in one of the hotels. You should call the leading hotels in your area and ask them the qualifications you need to work with them. They would advise you. There was a time when hotels took workers and trained them on the job.

You are living with a very wicked man. The man is a beast and although you say that you don't have anywhere to go, you would have to leave. Call the Bureau of Women's Affairs, tell them your situation and ask them for help.

Pastor