My son is living in squalor - His father is not doing a good job of caring for him

Dear Pastor,

I am a 21-year-old woman. I was abused many times, so I ran away at an early age. Life hasn't got better, because I am still physically and emotionally hurt.

I was talking to this man and he caused me to run away some years ago. I went back home. He got me pregnant before I turned 16 and he had me hiding from the police. After having the baby, which he didn't want, I decided that it was time to run off. I had to seek a job to support the baby and myself and bounced around with men, sleeping at their homes.

The child is now six. When he was five, his father took me to court and got custody of him, because he said where I was living was not suitable. I was working as a bartender at the time to support him and my younger son. But Pastor, my son is not in a good condition. His back has rashes and his father beats him. The father has taken up another woman, who now controls him.

I registered the child at a school, and I have been going there to watch him. Sometimes he is not wearing a shirt. His father's new girlfriend doesn't wash, cook or clean. My child's father bought the uniform, a schoolbag and shoes, four books and two sharpeners - that was it. I took the child to the barber. I bought some snacks and masks for school. The father went to the school and saw me. He went to the security officer and called the principal. The principal then explained to me that the stepmother and the father are going to transfer him to another school because he was not doing well there.

Pastor, I am writing to you now because I really need your help. I am not trying to get any money. I just want to take my son out of the condition in which he is living. I went to the Family Court several times, but I am not getting any help from them. Sometimes I feel like I would commit suicide because that's my first child. I know the pain and tears I had to bear.

I am waiting on a reply from you.

T.H.

Dear T.H.,

Without a doubt, you have had a rough upbringing; and this man who got you pregnant when you were young, should have been arrested and taken to court and severely punished.

You did not cooperate with the police. He was able to hide you. I am not condemning you, because you were young and you did not understand that you were hurting yourself. I do not understand how he was able to take you to court and get custody of the child. I am sure he was able to prove to the court that you were not able to take care of the child, because you were working late as a bartender. He is a wicked man and he is going to meet his Waterloo.

What is happening now to your son is very painful and you need to go back to court, but you should have a lawyer to represent you. You need to tell the court the truth, but a lawyer should stand with you. It is better for this child to be put into a home than to be living with his father.

Perhaps you should call Legal Aid and explain to them what you are going through and what your child is going through, and what you are trying to do on your own. Tell them you need help and you are not making any progress with the Family Court. They will advise you appropriately. Keep strong. I will be praying for you. Let me know what progress you have made.

Pastor