Dad says mom is no saint

Dear Pastor,

I met you in Manchester when you were there to do an outside broadcast. But before meeting you in-person, I was always reading your column. I am 30 years old, but people say I don't look my age.

My boyfriend is of light complexion and so is my mother. When my mother met him for the first time, she made much of him and told me that because of his colour, he and I would make lovely children. My father is of dark complexion but he always had affairs with women who are of light complexion. I know a couple of them.

I went to school with a girl. We were in the same class and it was during her last year in high school that I found out that she and I are sisters. It was my father who told me. He asked me not to tell my mother because when he was having the affair with the girl's mother, my mother heard about it and asked him and he denied it. But he wanted me to know that if this girl was ever in need, I should help her.

WE ARE BEST FRIENDS

I went on to university and I told my father to pay for her to attend university, too. While in university, I got pregnant, so this girl finished before me. She changed her last name and is now carrying our family name and we are best friends.

My father left her a piece of land and my mother was upset about that, but I defended my father. This girl is the spitting image of my dad. When she got married, she asked me to give a toast to the bride and I was very happy to do so; tears came to her eyes. Her husband told me that my sister is always talking good things about me and no better person could have toasted her.

I don't know why some people are so hung up on skin colour. Before my father died, he told my mother that he was sorry for keeping other women with her. He mentioned this sister I went to school with and he told my mother to accept her and treat her like family.

My father told me that my mother is not a saint, despite what she tries to show. But he will never let her down. I asked him to explain what he meant, but he didn't. Do you think that my mother cheated on my father? I believe she did.

W.

Dear W.,

Whether or not your mother had an affair, it would not change anything now. He knew your mother would not accept your sister as a part of the family, so he never told her the truth.

He eventually told you to treat her well because she is your sister. Your father did the right thing by giving this girl property and he finally confessed to everyone on his deathbed that the young woman is his child.

You say that your father said that your mother is not a saint and you would love to know why he made that statement to you. I am glad that he did not go beyond that and you should not try to determine what he meant. I have said so many times, the past is the past. Don't try to dig up the past. Many times the past is painful and there are things that are better not said.

Pastor