I think mom is giving dad ‘bun’ with a taxi man

Dear Pastor,

I am 17 and I am living with my father, my two brothers and my mother. My father is not doing well, so he has been at home for months now. He has a car, but it is parked in the garage. My mother does not drive. There is a taxi driver who takes her to the business place and takes her back home. Whenever she wants to go anywhere, he takes her there, waits for her, and brings her home.

My father does not like me to take the bus, so he made an arrangement with this man to take me to and from school. There are some days he picks me up and takes me straight to the business place, but my mother does not like me to come there and wait for her.

One day, my mother and the helper had an argument. The helper told her that she is not a good woman because her husband is not well and she should come home in the evenings and take care of him, instead of going out with this taxi man and using my father's money to support him. My mother told her that she was out of order and that she would fire her and the helper told her to go ahead, because she would expose her and tell my father everything. My mother did not say another word.

The following day, I asked my mother what secret the helper has for her and if she was with the taxi driver. She said she went to the man's house once before coming home because he told her he had to pick up something and she didn't know how the helper knew that. My mother and the helper had another argument and the helper resigned, but she called my father and told him some dirty things about my mother. She told my father that she would not work with my mother.

The helper and I talk, but my mother does not want me to talk to her. She doesn't want me to travel with the taxi driver anymore. I want to ask him if he and my mother are having an affair. My father told my mother that he was going to stop this driver from working with him and my mother did not say anything. I believe the helper has many secrets for my mother. I love my mother, but I love my father more.

My brothers don't know what is going on because I have not told them what the helper told my father. My father is in distress and he does not even want to take water from my mother.

F.B.

Dear F.B.,

It is unfortunate that the helper has given up her job. But it is most likely that she has secrets for your mother. Perhaps your mother discussed a few things with her about this driver.

Or perhaps they just talked in a casual manner and the helper overheard that they were having a romantic affair. My dear, I don't believe what your mother said about going to this man's house for him to pick up something. If she went there once, how did the helper know that? You are a young girl, but have you considered that this so-called taxi driver might have had a discussion with your mother or might have told the helper that he and your mother were having an affair. That is quite possible.

Why is it that your mother suddenly didn't want you to come to the business place and wait for her and then both of you travel together to go home? Is it because she wanted time with this driver? Whatever her reason is, the helper has exposed your mother and it appears as if your father believes what the helper said.

I would suggest that you keep out of the problem with your mother and father. Whatever is said to you, listen but don't take sides. Your father is paying the bills, so if he wants you to travel with someone else, please do so without making any fuss. I hope your father will indeed terminate the contract with this man.

You are 17. Don't allow anything to interrupt your studies. Call me anytime and I wish you well.

Pastor