Want my husband and I to orgasm together - He doesn’t think we should worry about it

Dear Pastor,

I am 24 years old and my husband is 26. We are excited as a young couple. We have been married for one year and six months. My girlfriends and I talk about what happens when their husbands have sex with them.

Since I got married, I have learned how exciting an orgasm can be, but I have never experienced simultaneous orgasms. My husband always tries to get me to reach orgasm before he does. And after I am satisfied, then he ejaculates and we hug each other and fall asleep. One of my friends told me that she has never had an orgasm. But a couple of the girls say that they have reached orgasm at the same time with their husbands. I talk to my husband about that and he says that if it happens to us that would be good, but that is not something that he would strive to reach. Sometimes I have multiple orgasms and my husband feels that when I do, he has done a good job. I can see the smile on his face.

I am only writing to you to see what advice you can give to me. I enjoy reading your column so much. So, Pastor, keep up the good work.

Initials Withheld.

Dear Writer,

Some couples do experience simultaneous orgasms. One may say that it comes from months or years of making love together and learning to time each other in lovemaking.

That is an art. A sex therapist would tell you that it is. When a man and his woman have learned to pleasure each other, the man would know how to hold back, so to speak, and not to ejaculate before his woman does.

Pleasing each other is the important thing to learn in lovemaking. So, having simultaneous orgasms is not something that one should strive to experience, although it is not something that one should totally ignore. If it happens, it happens. Don't always listen to everything your girlfriends say. Just make sure that you please your man and that he pleases you.

Pastor