I am a 55-year-old virgin

Dear Pastor,

I am 55 years old and something is bothering me that I would like to share with you. I am a lay leader. I never got married because the woman I loved rejected me. She never got married either. I still think of her, and whenever I see her, which is occasionally, I put in a word. However, I am always rejected.

You may ask why I have continued to love this woman and my answer is I do not know. What I do know is that I have never felt the feelings for any other woman as I have felt for her. She does not have children, and of course, she has passed the age of childbearing. I don't have children either.

The way I love this woman, even if she had children, I would still marry her. I have a house and I have good investments that I would have loved to pass on to my children and grandchildren, but that is not going to be. Sometimes people wonder why I never got married. I try to laugh it off and say that I have not met the right person. But I am going to tell you something that is shocking. As I said, I am 55 and I have never had sex. I gave myself to church work. I don't know if this woman who rejected me so many times has had sex. The last time we saw each other and I tried to talk to her, she ran me away.

Do you think there is hope for me in this relationship? I have nephews and nieces. It seems to me that they would have to inherit what I have. And I have to consider that my lot in life is to remain single. What do you say?

Initials Withheld

Dear .....,

You were determined to have a relationship with this young woman who did not love you. You were so determined to have this woman that you did not look around to find out whether someone else would have accepted you. You were a hard-working man and a good Christian but you gave up easily.

Sometimes people say God did not want them to do this or that. And as far as I see it, they are trying to mix up God in the areas that they failed. But this was not the only woman in the world. She turned you down, but that did not mean that you could not try to find another woman. You have my prayers, but that is all I can do for you. Congratulations and continue to work hard in the church.

Pastor