Grandmother hates my boyfriend

Dear Pastor,

I was calling you on the number you gave out on the radio, but without luck, I have decided to write to you. I read your column and listen to you as often as I can.

I live with my grandmother and her radio is permanently on Power 106 FM. If she doesn't hear your voice, she is always disappointed.

My grandmother is 78 years old and she does not give me any trouble. But my boyfriend doesn't like her. He said she is too nosey. I am trying to end the relationship with him, because my grandmother means everything to me and she is not nosey. He doesn't like her because one day we had an argument and he hit me, and I cried. My grandmother heard me crying and asked me what was wrong. I told her that my boyfriend slapped me. She told him that he should get out of her house because he didn't have any right to hit me. She never beat me when I was a child. She said that she knows me to be a good girl, and so if we had any disagreement we should talk it over. From that time he has hated my grandmother.

He would come to the house and pass her on the verandah on the sitting down and he wouldn't say 'Good evening' or 'Good morning'. He doesn't have any manners to my grandmother. Now he is saying it's my grandmother who has caused him to turn his mind against her. I told him that my grandmother didn't turn his mind against her. He didn't have any manners from the very start. It was just over foolishness why this man and I had an argument. He went into my phone and saw a text in which a guy called me sexy. He asked me about it and I told him that I am sexy. He took that to mean I was having an affair with the guy. I told him that if I wanted to have affairs I could, and so the argument got heated and he slapped me.

When I met this man he was on his face. I helped him to get a job. I bought a motor cycle for him to use to get to work. I took time every day to help him learn to read and write. He is very ungrateful. We do not have children. He got me pregnant, but I lost the baby, and I am very glad about that.

S.L.

Dear S.L.,

You did not say whether this man is living with you at your grandmother's house, neither have you stated your ages. I know for sure that he is very out of order.

You took him from nothing and tried to make something out of him, and now he is behaving as a fool. I don't know if he would change his behaviour, but I know for sure that you would be silly to continue to have a relationship with someone who does not respect your grandmother and who is in and out of her house. He could have been eating from her hands. In other words, if he had respect for your grandmother, he pretty well could have got anything from her, because she would have got to love him. She would have welcomed him to the family. He is a silly young man. If he continues to be disrespectful to your grandmother, you should know that you are going with the wrong man. So I shouldn't even bother to make any more comment. It is over to you.

Pastor